Saudades dos Bolos da Vovó

[dotinthesky]

Grandma with her brother

Grandparents
by Dr Theophilus Pudding

A grandparent is a human that has produced one thousand offspring, (hence the origin of the word). On achieving this feat, the new grandparent shouts 'full house!', and is then officially designated with the title and given some comfortable shoes by Her Majesty the Queen.

Grandparents can be found in armchairs, at bus stops and in deckchairs in UK seaside resorts. Indeed, they are so common these days that they can easily be acquired; you may even have one yourself.
Your grandparent should be refuelled regularly with Werther's Originals and tea (some high-performance models also take sherry).
It can be useful to cover your grandparent with a tartan blanket. This will calm him or her down, and discourage attempts to escape.

Comments

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Mine's too. But she also makes kickass cakes, sweets and fried goodies; and she's only a bitch to the help. I bet she'd kick your grandma's ass in a fight.

[frankeecymraeg.livejournal.com]

mines a bitch to me. though I'm fairly sure given the chance I could out bitch her and make her cry. Probably could ruin her worthless life in the process. To give you an idea how much I can't stand her....I cut off all contact with her, I don't even fake liking her to stay in the will. She knows full well my opinion of her. Actually she doesn't, she just knows I don't like her. Sometimes I want to call her and tell her she's a cunty little fuck face, but I've refrained, maybe I'll do it on her birthday one year before she kicks the bucket.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Is she from your mom or dad's side? Do you have any granduncles/aunts in Sicily?

[frankeecymraeg.livejournal.com]

mum. no. had a cousin. but a couple years ago he fell off the ladder, was knocked unconscious and then the tar bucket spilled the hot tar on his face, which hardened, and he suffocated to death.