Nag Nag Nag

man, being sick is just the pits. and that's all I`m going to say about it, because it's annoying when sick people just go on and on and on about it...

alright. weekend approaching. any dancing in the cards? no. perhaps a movie? yes, monday,w with Yuki and her japanese friends. we are helping them with their english.

have begun to work again on the novel. despite missing the final 5 chapters i've started rewriting from the beginning. i realized that as the 1st draft comes along, things will change and new ideas will appear for those final chapters. important now: keeping the confidence. i'm glad i've come this far. the point is not to publish it (i try to tell myself) but to keep the voice firm, the style a running line, everything in its place, circled and done. a coherent piece. and no more setting fire to characters apartments because i don't know where to take the plot...

(on the Michael Jackson doc., which most of you are going to see tonight, let me just tell you that if someone can lie so blatantly about certain aspects of his life, what's to say he is not lying about everything else?)

late night lounge

kevin is in the bedroom, working on some drawings for Nice, the comic book he is putting together with some of his co-workers. Silke is somewhere in Scotland, filming clowns crossing a mountain for the Jonny Vaughn Show. She is hating every second of it. And I`m here, having read all of the missed entries, replied to some, drunk half a bottle of white wine...

i`ve gotten used to living in the present, so talking about what happened, what I would like to happen, feels uncomfortable. I enjoy the events as they unfold, the sounds that come from the cheap stereo. Looking back is always tinged with wishful thinking, distorted impressions. Looking ahead comes loaded with expectations, dreams. My mission keeps centred in the present.

I don`t have a favourite tv show... or a movie. I love Morrissey though (I saw him on Top of the Pops yesterday, singing "Roy's Keen"... he is becoming more beautiful with every year.)

Enough of this. Lets go to my final alloted post of the day...

Another Nobody

Everyday I take the Bakerloo Tube home. Around 14:00. So there is usually a weird assortment of students, drunks and tourists travelling on it. Any sensible worker is safely encased in his office room. I never look at my fellow travellers, because there is not much to see. Today, though, a really beautiful guy got into the same carriage as me. He looked slightly italian, dark hair, round eyes, with big black boots, light blue jeans that were body fit, a rucksack and dark jacket. I couldn`t help looking, because he was cute, but he sat down and closed his eyes. So I went back to my book.

Yet... when I got to my station and stood up he followed me with his eyes. And as I stepped out, he followed and kept pace with me. I was heading for the library, to renew my book and borrow some videos, and as I stepped outside the Tube I turned around and he was there, standing, looking at me!

Shiver. Turned away. Walked. Brought Kevin's image to my mind. Had to keep him there, in my mind's eye, and not look back again.