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TEMPS: The Face of Evil
Jun. 29th, 2004 10:20 amWhen future historians look back at our day and age, there will be only one concern in their minds: the evil perpetrated by temps. They will wish to know how millions of temps brought about the collapse of modern civilization.
If something goes wrong, you can bet your money a temp is behind it. World War III? A temp must have accidentally pressed the red button. Ecological Meltdown? Temps across the planet are statistically known to use more ozone-damaging aerosol than non-temps.
Let's face it: temps are the cause of all humanity's ills. Temps epitomize the seven deadly sins:
LUST: Monica Lewinski, an intern in the White House (intern is just a fancy word for temp), brought down the Democrats' rule and ushered inthe third antichrist George Bush Jr.'s government. And why? Because she was a lustful temp.
PRIDE: Temps will boast about their minial accomplishments, despite having done a poor job. Before Enron collapsed, it had a high rate of temps working for them who were constantly boasting of their good excel skills. Thanks to their fudling about with financial numbers, homes were wrecked and lives were torn apart when Enron went bankrupt.
RAGE: Temps have a tendency to become extremely vocal after a few pints of beer. They can easily descend into violence, as well as street and road rage. Temps have also been known to destroy bathroom hand-driers and stalls in fits of anger when nobody is around.
ENVY: Because temps lie at the bottom of the feeding chain, their lives revolve around intricate dreams of stealing someone else's job and earning more money/prestige. Temps will stop at nothing to destroy somebody's career if they think they can get away with it - and get their jobs.
GLUTTONY: Boxes of chocolates mysteriously disappear from the tea room when temps are around. Temps have insatiable appetites.
GREED: Temps will continue doing a job they hate for only one reason - money. The green bills rule the world, and their greatest worshippers are those evil temps.
SLOTH: Livejournal is littered with temps wasting their bosses' good money.
Temps: do you have one in your life? Are you helping disseminate their evil, or fighting to put a stop to them? It is time you get off the fence and join the battle to eradicate the world of all temps.
If something goes wrong, you can bet your money a temp is behind it. World War III? A temp must have accidentally pressed the red button. Ecological Meltdown? Temps across the planet are statistically known to use more ozone-damaging aerosol than non-temps.
Let's face it: temps are the cause of all humanity's ills. Temps epitomize the seven deadly sins:
LUST: Monica Lewinski, an intern in the White House (intern is just a fancy word for temp), brought down the Democrats' rule and ushered in
PRIDE: Temps will boast about their minial accomplishments, despite having done a poor job. Before Enron collapsed, it had a high rate of temps working for them who were constantly boasting of their good excel skills. Thanks to their fudling about with financial numbers, homes were wrecked and lives were torn apart when Enron went bankrupt.
RAGE: Temps have a tendency to become extremely vocal after a few pints of beer. They can easily descend into violence, as well as street and road rage. Temps have also been known to destroy bathroom hand-driers and stalls in fits of anger when nobody is around.
ENVY: Because temps lie at the bottom of the feeding chain, their lives revolve around intricate dreams of stealing someone else's job and earning more money/prestige. Temps will stop at nothing to destroy somebody's career if they think they can get away with it - and get their jobs.
GLUTTONY: Boxes of chocolates mysteriously disappear from the tea room when temps are around. Temps have insatiable appetites.
GREED: Temps will continue doing a job they hate for only one reason - money. The green bills rule the world, and their greatest worshippers are those evil temps.
SLOTH: Livejournal is littered with temps wasting their bosses' good money.
Temps: do you have one in your life? Are you helping disseminate their evil, or fighting to put a stop to them? It is time you get off the fence and join the battle to eradicate the world of all temps.
