Perfect Songs for London Underground Buskers

10. Morrissey's Suedehead - the busker must have a Moz quiff to perform this song.
9. Cocteau Twins' Evangeline - the busker must surround himself with various twirling disco balls for this song.
8. Blind Melon's No Rain - the busker must dress like the bee girl.
7. Goldfrapp's Utopia - the busker must dress like Heidi.
6. Julee Cruise's Falling - the busker must be accompanied by a midget that speaks backwards.
5. Propaganda's Duel - the busker is allowed to go over-the-top with this one.
4. Pet Shop Boys' What Have I Done to Deserve This? - this song should satisfy any buskers who dream of performing with their fag hags.
3. Madonna's La Isla Bonita - I once heard a busker in Charing Cross perform this. It was the best cover version I heard in my life. I hope I see him again one day.
2. Chris Isaak's Wicked Game - the busker must also have a quiff for this one (and a wife beater, if he/she's got a good body).
1. The Organ's Memorize the City - Just because they should. All of them.

Afghan Lovers

In parts of Afghanistan, especially in the southeastern part of the country, homosexuality is widespread and tacitly accepted. Many commanders have young lovers and one often sees old men followed by a bunch of young boys. The boys adorn themselves with flowers in their hair, behind the ear or in a buttonhole. This behaviour is often explained by the strict purdah practised in the southern and eastern parts of the country. It is not rare to see a gaggle of mincing, swaying boys. They paint thick kohl lines round their eyes and their movements remind of transvestites in the West. They stare, they flirt and they wiggle their hips and shoulders.

The commanders do not live as homosexuals only; the majority of them have wives and a large brood of children. But they are rarely at home and life is lived amongst men. Often major jealous dramas develop around the young men; many blood feuds have been fought over a young lover who divided his favours between two men. On one occasion two commanders launched a tank battle in the bazaar in a feud over a young lover. The result was several dozen killed.

- from The Bookseller of Kabul

Further reading:
Kandahar's Lightly Veiled Homosexual Habits - article from the LA Times, April 2002