Gimme Gimme Gimme Anything But Russia

Many of my dear readers won't be familiar with the annual European event called the Eurovision Song Contest. It's basically a giant car crash that throws kitschiness and politics through the driver's window, miles away from any ambulance remotely equipped to clean up the mess. If you thought American Idol was bad, think again. If you thought talent contests in high school were bad, think again. If you thought your local yobs singing karaoke down at the pub were bad, think again.

Now, having said that, I must confess that Eurovision parties can be sublime. People gathering together to celebrate trash (and yes, if you are there you are celebrating it) easily drop their guard and confess within the hour that they like Aqua, Abba and Limahl. Discussion on Sonia's height (she who competed for England in 1993) can easily last the whole night. craig and deadsarah throw the best parties, and are the hostesses with the mostesses. Last year, I was one of the two people who showed up to their apartment, for a night of pizza and horror (when it dawned on us that the Serbian lesbian had won against much stronger contestants, i.e. Ukraine's Verka Serduchka). This year, over 20 people decided to show up, though thankfully craig and sarah now live in much larger accomodations and have plenty of pink cushions for everyone. Unsurprisingly, the toe-curling entry from Russia won, beating much better fare such as the Azerbaijan entry (gay goths gone to hell), Croatia (the rapping grandpa) and my favourites, Latvia (pirates that had promised to "steal the show"). Along the way, there was much shouting at the television, laughter, conversations in the kitchen, on the leather sofa and on the floor (later in the night, when lying on the floor and propping your head with someone's purse wasn't such an embarrassing thing anymore.)

Terry Wogan, the presenter/spokesman for England, sounded more bitter, cynical and sarcastic than usual, though didn't get as drunk as last year. Serbia should have been given bonus points for a stage that resembled the devil. Speaking of points, they need to change the points system because it's obvious the Eastern Block is going to rule with an iron fist from now on - especially from next year, when England won't be automatically in the finals anymore, and thus will never ever make it past the semis. If we all know that countries vote based on ideological or nationalistic reasons, shouldn't something be done to stop it? Why is politics so complicated?