Freedom Fuck Me, Baby.

[dotinthesky]

Stolen from nonexistent


- Wienerschnitzel's hot dogs can now be topped with yellow, German, or freedom mustard... Hans Applepie, a spokesman for the fast food chain said Monday, "We would have renamed the German mustard too, but so far nobody's thought of a synonym for freedom that starts with a 'g'." Mr. Applepie assured this reporter that the corporation had the world's top crossword players working on it. Meanwhile, the company is considering a name change. "Freedom Franks" has been suggested.

- Bakeries and supermarkets throughout America will soon be selling "freedom bread". Several members of the Italian-American Culinary Association have protested this change - because, after all, their bread could beat the french.

- Various works of Voltaire, Tocqueville, d'Holbach, Montaigne, and others have been banned by libraries across the nation on the grounds that they are "opposed to freedom". In other news, Irony was declared missing and most likely dead.

- This news brief brought to you by the Bush administration's Department of Health: Reminding you not to freedom kiss on the first date. Or any time before marriage.

Comments

[retellit.livejournal.com]

NPR response in america commenting on their report about freedom fries and toast:

"Why not call them Stupid fries. Who the fuck are these people in congress and shouldn't they find more IMPORTANT things to busy themselves with?"

"The second I found out I went out to a store and bought four bottles of french wine and contacted my travel agent about scheduling my next vacation in france. I don't know who the people in congress think they are representing, but it sure as hell isnt me."

here,here.

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

This isn't really happening. I haven't seen it anywhere. It seems to be a big overblown media thing.

Of course, I haven't been walking around in public too much lately, so maybe I'm just oblivious.