Freedom Fuck Me, Baby.

[dotinthesky]

Stolen from nonexistent


- Wienerschnitzel's hot dogs can now be topped with yellow, German, or freedom mustard... Hans Applepie, a spokesman for the fast food chain said Monday, "We would have renamed the German mustard too, but so far nobody's thought of a synonym for freedom that starts with a 'g'." Mr. Applepie assured this reporter that the corporation had the world's top crossword players working on it. Meanwhile, the company is considering a name change. "Freedom Franks" has been suggested.

- Bakeries and supermarkets throughout America will soon be selling "freedom bread". Several members of the Italian-American Culinary Association have protested this change - because, after all, their bread could beat the french.

- Various works of Voltaire, Tocqueville, d'Holbach, Montaigne, and others have been banned by libraries across the nation on the grounds that they are "opposed to freedom". In other news, Irony was declared missing and most likely dead.

- This news brief brought to you by the Bush administration's Department of Health: Reminding you not to freedom kiss on the first date. Or any time before marriage.

Comments

[retellit.livejournal.com]

NPR response in america commenting on their report about freedom fries and toast:

"Why not call them Stupid fries. Who the fuck are these people in congress and shouldn't they find more IMPORTANT things to busy themselves with?"

"The second I found out I went out to a store and bought four bottles of french wine and contacted my travel agent about scheduling my next vacation in france. I don't know who the people in congress think they are representing, but it sure as hell isnt me."

here,here.

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

america has always had such a strong link to france (it's independence, the statue of liberty) and now, just because France disagrees with them, the government acts like a brat!

[retellit.livejournal.com]

this is why i hate republicans. they don't understand *anything*

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[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

republicans are left-over racists... they won't survive this century, i`m sure.

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

This isn't really happening. I haven't seen it anywhere. It seems to be a big overblown media thing.

Of course, I haven't been walking around in public too much lately, so maybe I'm just oblivious.

[retellit.livejournal.com]

i've only heard about it as well, but supposedly its happening in d.c. and the congressional cafeteria.

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

That would explain it as well. But then again, the things that happen in Washington don't seem to be reflected in the rest of the United States anyway, so they're just being true to form.

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[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

i`m glad people in Oregon are still French Kissing...

:)

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[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

We do it very well, in fact. ;)

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[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

that's what it looks like from that video cover...

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

Oh, that video? It was to pay for college.

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

and i guess the weird guy that prowls behind the sets is The Beaners? I could tell you were eyeing each other a little too much...

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[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

i hope someone gobs the food in that cafeteria.

[retellit.livejournal.com]

ha ha

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

it's actually now beginning here... the whole "lets bait the french" thing. I just saw on the cover of The Sun today a photo of Saddam and Chirac, with the headline: Spot the Difference!

[retellit.livejournal.com]

I really love the French, too. I hate the attitude of Bush- acting like France is just a little kid that has to be punished. I mean, they're the FRENCH; what do they care if we change the name of our food? How stupid ARE these congress people?

::rages::

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

its that idea of "either you are with us or you are with the terrorists" - they think everyone should be like lemmings, just follow them blindly, not questioning anything.

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[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

Jeez. Like the French weren't already having difficulty relating to the rest of the world.

[retellit.livejournal.com]

ha ha. that's very true. ^_^ i think i like you.

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

I think the feeling is mutual. Let's be friends. :)

[retellit.livejournal.com]

sure thing. so you live in oregon, huh? sounds more exciting than ohio...

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

Yup. I actually like Portland a lot. The rain and general dreariness isn't for everyone, but I'm kind of morbid.

I was considering an eventual move to sunnier climes, but for now Portland does me right.

I'm sure Ohio has it's good points too.

[retellit.livejournal.com]

the good points in ohio are its airports and interstate highways- at least they provide a means of escape. i prefer Chicago and San Francisco.

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

I liked San Fran too, but who doesn't? I'm not sure I'd want to live there, as it seems really crowded...and then there's that whole Earthquake thing...

I also really like Seattle, but I'm not sure I'd want to live there either.

Portland, to me, seems like San Francisco and Seattle's small offspring.

[retellit.livejournal.com]

mmhm, the earthquake thing really freaks me out. while i was there, we walked on the san andreas fault line and i *swear* i could feel the ground shaking. i'm very paranoid about natural disasters, that's why I think I'll live in boys town and hang out in san francisco on the weekends. ^_~

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

hey you too! stop flirting with each other...

you are making me jealous.

: )

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

And to think, we owe our marriage to you, Ollie.

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

well, i always wanted to be a marriage destroyer, so maybe this is a good moment...

[retellit.livejournal.com]

you've *always* wanted to destroy marriages? is there something deep and psychological that goes with that or are you just bitter and queeny?

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

hahaha...

maybe it's because I`ve been with Kevin for 4years and a half now... and I`m psychologically needing some fresh air!

(just kidding... i love my kebs!)

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

That seems like an odd career aspiration to me.

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

as I said to Soopa, you too are flirting too much to my taste.

stop now before I throw a jealous strop!

; )

[retellit.livejournal.com]

who's flirting, ollie? we're only friends 'cause of our common-ground mutual lust for YOU. hahaha. i sleep now -_-

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[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

ok then... i`m happy with that!

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

i know... they are a difficult bunch. I lived in Quebec for 5 years, so I should know...

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[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

I have no experience with the French. I only know through reputation.

How long ago did you live in Quebec?

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

between 95 and 2000... i went to University there.

(good morning, Soopa baby!)

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[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

Morning!

I'm actually about to pull my computer apart so I can start moving. *sigh*

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[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

have a good move then! hope your new home is comfy, cool, warm, lovely...

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[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

Yes, the new house is all of the above. I can't wait until everything gets settled to normal. I'll be cleaning and unpacking for the rest of the week, I'm sure.

I hate being at work when I'd rather be at home settling my life.

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

but soon it will be done, and you`ll get to enjoy it.

(by the way, that's very typical of Cancer to want his/her home settled...)

: )

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

Right, I'm going to sell a whole bunch more of our stuff. Simplification is this year's new buzz word for me.

I've got too much baggage in my life any way.

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

milennial minimalism?

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

Annual Annulment of the Unneeded.