i think all that's true. you do deserve better than a windowless room. you just have to think pragmatically and strategically ... i'm going to pretend to be a wretched career counselor now.
regardless of whatever tempts or gnaws at you for the moment, the one thing you are absolutely sure of is that you are a writer, and that you want to write. this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing, around which everything else should revolve. because the rest of it can be counted as MEANS to an end.
i'm pre-empting some possible responses now:
those who create things, i think, and especially those who are conscious of media processes, seem to be afraid to 'go public' too soon - you don't want to be defined by the first thing you put out; you want to refine your writing to the point that it's critically unassailable, or to the point that you can control/spin perceptions of your writing (or of your public identity as a writer). fuck all that. first of all, you're already an amazingly insightful, gorgeous, measured writer - ask your friends here. respect what they have to say- from what i've read, these are not stupid people. (nor am i.)
if you need more encouragement, put yourself in a position to get your stuff reviewed by other writers - workshop, classes, etc. not a bad idea even if you don't need encouragement - it's important, i think, to be around people who are dedicated to what you are dedicated to - you need to see how entirely possible it is to write, to be a writer, to be ambitious. i'm not talking about joining a community centre or something - surround yourself with people of high caliber and high ambition. (e.g., university writing classes, at a place known for its connections to publishing, etc.) submit to magazines/journals, submit all the time.
you have to take a risk with your life. it's not getting any longer.
digression: i saw an interview with Don McKellar (Red Violin, Twitch City, etc.). the interviewer asked him whether he was embarrassed by any of his pieces; McKellar said (paraphrasing) he felt lucky to be able to stand behind all of his work. imagine being able to say that. imagine being able to say that what you've done in life, what you've produced, are things that added some new dimension to the world, something positive, something your own - that you used your given intellect and values and gifts with integrity.
now imagine you spent your life in advertising.
or worse, in bitterness because you were afraid to take a stand on your life, to use yourself, what is given in you, to say authentically, "I exist".
your job, your money situation, all of that are logistical elements, instrumental to the task you yourself have chosen. organize them around your first priority, which is, I believe, the right expression of your givenness.
thanks Natalia! I am planning on taking creative writing courses next semester, hopefully meeting a good instructor and also writers that I can learn from. My decision to quit this job has more to do with my lack of challenge in it. Karla was telling me that the people who work in her department (Institute of Education) get a starting salary, as the lowliest of lows, 2000 pounds higher than me!!!!! I'm just a photocopier/spreadsheet creator. I do jack shit all day. I wake up and promise to myself that I'll use my spare time to write, but I can't create when I'm surrounded by such a horribly boring scenario, when nothing is happening in my life, when I'm not meeting people. It's reached a point where the gym is propping me up and keeping me from walking out of the building at 2 in the afternoon because I'm so unhappy.
My contract runs out at the end of this month (but they want to extend it) My boss had promised that by this stage I would be doing more exciting work, in a room with his other researchers, but he hasn't stuck to his promise. Plus, the secretary at my work irritates me like no other human being has ever managed... and I just seriously think I can get a better job than this. The reason why I want to quit is that I want to go to Brazil for a good month and a half - get enough time to see my friends in Brazil (who I haven't seen in two years), my family... also help my mom with her work. THen I'll come back refreshed, get temp work while I look. Just the fact that I'll be in another office with other people, will be ok for me. I don't mind doing Admin Work for now, while I research where to take my writing...
This one lecturer who was away from our department because of maternity leave came to visit us recently. She looked at me and said: "Oliver, are you still here???" I could tell she knew I should be in a better job.
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dotinthesky) wrote2003-11-07 10:31 am
no subject
i think all that's true. you do deserve better than a windowless room. you just have to think pragmatically and strategically ... i'm going to pretend to be a wretched career counselor now.
regardless of whatever tempts or gnaws at you for the moment, the one thing you are absolutely sure of is that you are a writer, and that you want to write. this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing, around which everything else should revolve. because the rest of it can be counted as MEANS to an end.
i'm pre-empting some possible responses now:
those who create things, i think, and especially those who are conscious of media processes, seem to be afraid to 'go public' too soon - you don't want to be defined by the first thing you put out; you want to refine your writing to the point that it's critically unassailable, or to the point that you can control/spin perceptions of your writing (or of your public identity as a writer). fuck all that. first of all, you're already an amazingly insightful, gorgeous, measured writer - ask your friends here. respect what they have to say- from what i've read, these are not stupid people. (nor am i.)
if you need more encouragement, put yourself in a position to get your stuff reviewed by other writers - workshop, classes, etc. not a bad idea even if you don't need encouragement - it's important, i think, to be around people who are dedicated to what you are dedicated to - you need to see how entirely possible it is to write, to be a writer, to be ambitious. i'm not talking about joining a community centre or something - surround yourself with people of high caliber and high ambition. (e.g., university writing classes, at a place known for its connections to publishing, etc.) submit to magazines/journals, submit all the time.
you have to take a risk with your life. it's not getting any longer.
digression: i saw an interview with Don McKellar (Red Violin, Twitch City, etc.). the interviewer asked him whether he was embarrassed by any of his pieces; McKellar said (paraphrasing) he felt lucky to be able to stand behind all of his work. imagine being able to say that. imagine being able to say that what you've done in life, what you've produced, are things that added some new dimension to the world, something positive, something your own - that you used your given intellect and values and gifts with integrity.
now imagine you spent your life in advertising.
or worse, in bitterness because you were afraid to take a stand on your life, to use yourself, what is given in you, to say authentically, "I exist".
your job, your money situation, all of that are logistical elements, instrumental to the task you yourself have chosen. organize them around your first priority, which is, I believe, the right expression of your givenness.
no subject
My contract runs out at the end of this month (but they want to extend it) My boss had promised that by this stage I would be doing more exciting work, in a room with his other researchers, but he hasn't stuck to his promise. Plus, the secretary at my work irritates me like no other human being has ever managed... and I just seriously think I can get a better job than this. The reason why I want to quit is that I want to go to Brazil for a good month and a half - get enough time to see my friends in Brazil (who I haven't seen in two years), my family... also help my mom with her work. THen I'll come back refreshed, get temp work while I look. Just the fact that I'll be in another office with other people, will be ok for me. I don't mind doing Admin Work for now, while I research where to take my writing...
This one lecturer who was away from our department because of maternity leave came to visit us recently. She looked at me and said: "Oliver, are you still here???" I could tell she knew I should be in a better job.