i get no work... and when there is work, it's so dull it literally drills holes into my head.
and I sit in a room by myself with no windows, and I'm not learning anything, and I'm getting older, and life is passing by, and I think I deserve to be somewhere better...
i think all that's true. you do deserve better than a windowless room. you just have to think pragmatically and strategically ... i'm going to pretend to be a wretched career counselor now.
regardless of whatever tempts or gnaws at you for the moment, the one thing you are absolutely sure of is that you are a writer, and that you want to write. this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing, around which everything else should revolve. because the rest of it can be counted as MEANS to an end.
i'm pre-empting some possible responses now:
those who create things, i think, and especially those who are conscious of media processes, seem to be afraid to 'go public' too soon - you don't want to be defined by the first thing you put out; you want to refine your writing to the point that it's critically unassailable, or to the point that you can control/spin perceptions of your writing (or of your public identity as a writer). fuck all that. first of all, you're already an amazingly insightful, gorgeous, measured writer - ask your friends here. respect what they have to say- from what i've read, these are not stupid people. (nor am i.)
if you need more encouragement, put yourself in a position to get your stuff reviewed by other writers - workshop, classes, etc. not a bad idea even if you don't need encouragement - it's important, i think, to be around people who are dedicated to what you are dedicated to - you need to see how entirely possible it is to write, to be a writer, to be ambitious. i'm not talking about joining a community centre or something - surround yourself with people of high caliber and high ambition. (e.g., university writing classes, at a place known for its connections to publishing, etc.) submit to magazines/journals, submit all the time.
you have to take a risk with your life. it's not getting any longer.
digression: i saw an interview with Don McKellar (Red Violin, Twitch City, etc.). the interviewer asked him whether he was embarrassed by any of his pieces; McKellar said (paraphrasing) he felt lucky to be able to stand behind all of his work. imagine being able to say that. imagine being able to say that what you've done in life, what you've produced, are things that added some new dimension to the world, something positive, something your own - that you used your given intellect and values and gifts with integrity.
now imagine you spent your life in advertising.
or worse, in bitterness because you were afraid to take a stand on your life, to use yourself, what is given in you, to say authentically, "I exist".
your job, your money situation, all of that are logistical elements, instrumental to the task you yourself have chosen. organize them around your first priority, which is, I believe, the right expression of your givenness.
thanks Natalia! I am planning on taking creative writing courses next semester, hopefully meeting a good instructor and also writers that I can learn from. My decision to quit this job has more to do with my lack of challenge in it. Karla was telling me that the people who work in her department (Institute of Education) get a starting salary, as the lowliest of lows, 2000 pounds higher than me!!!!! I'm just a photocopier/spreadsheet creator. I do jack shit all day. I wake up and promise to myself that I'll use my spare time to write, but I can't create when I'm surrounded by such a horribly boring scenario, when nothing is happening in my life, when I'm not meeting people. It's reached a point where the gym is propping me up and keeping me from walking out of the building at 2 in the afternoon because I'm so unhappy.
My contract runs out at the end of this month (but they want to extend it) My boss had promised that by this stage I would be doing more exciting work, in a room with his other researchers, but he hasn't stuck to his promise. Plus, the secretary at my work irritates me like no other human being has ever managed... and I just seriously think I can get a better job than this. The reason why I want to quit is that I want to go to Brazil for a good month and a half - get enough time to see my friends in Brazil (who I haven't seen in two years), my family... also help my mom with her work. THen I'll come back refreshed, get temp work while I look. Just the fact that I'll be in another office with other people, will be ok for me. I don't mind doing Admin Work for now, while I research where to take my writing...
This one lecturer who was away from our department because of maternity leave came to visit us recently. She looked at me and said: "Oliver, are you still here???" I could tell she knew I should be in a better job.
hey oliver, check out this link to a mega site for literary mags (for submissions, etc., reviews)- and please pass it on to Kevin:
http://dustylizard.com/
(this part of the site lists sites in terms of hits, from most to fewest) http://dustylizard.com/community/modules.php?op=modload&name=Web_Links&file=index&l_op=viewlink&cid=1&orderby=hitsD
*hug* I know the feeling, believe me. Advice -- don't quit until you have another job. It doesn't have to be better paid or anything; you just want a safety net.
i know... and there's a chance my housemate might move out in February... which would mean a search for a new home (and we all know how London landlords don't like to give away leases to unemployed people!)
london is a good place to meet sexy boys... there are tons everywhere! When you come here I'll be your sensible gay uncle and screen prospective boyfriends for you.
you must mean internship... like Monica Lewinski in the White House? hehe... i know what you mean about London being expensive... but, as a student, you can work and that would help with your expenses... I have a lot of friends who are studying here and doing that. What kind of internship do you mean? Working in a company? Or working in an University? I could maybe ask around in my university and find out how it works.
i'm close to a decision... i'm spending this weekend thinking about it, i'm going to write a rough draft of my resignation letter... and I'm calling Momma! she always gives me good advice.
somewhere with people my age, who don't suck... and somewhere that I feel I'm learning useful things. I'm not picky, and I know the perfect job doesn't exist... but I just want to escape this boredom!
Join the club. I'd like to do the same and go to school full time, but the money is so good and the job itself isn't all that bad. I just sometimes feel like It's killing me slowly.
i don't even want to go to school.... i'm tired of sitting in a tiny room, by myself, with no windows, and the highlight of my day being a meeting with the photocopy machine.
hell yeah! I almost quit my job b/c I didn't see anything else in the wings, but I recently applied for school and got on a schedule that doesn't put me in contact with the public as much. I work at the Met Museum of Art as a security guard and let me tell you - that job sucks. I was getting so burnt out on the visitors, stuff that's not even their fault. Like please, for gods' sakes, if you're going to ask me a question understand enough English to get my answer. wah!
it sucks that we have to do these boring jobs to pay our bills... but we are young and hopefully there are better things ahead of us. That's great you are going back to school... i contemplated that recently, but decided otherwise (i'm not the academic type, i realize.)
ah, whatever you want to do to get you somewhere you want to be. I just didn't have much in the way of marketable skills and knew I couldn't do the guarding thing much longer. It's a soul-suck.
I was dating this girl who knew I needed one and the Met was hiring, so she told me about it. I'll stay here b/c my school sched (if I get accepted in time to get into this slot) is M-F 8:30a - 12:30p while work is W-Su 4:30p - 12:30a. So it's pretty much perfect for the time being. Plus, I can get $500 3x/yr from the union.
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2003-11-07 02:57 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-07 03:27 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-07 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-07 03:38 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-07 03:50 am (UTC)and I sit in a room by myself with no windows, and I'm not learning anything, and I'm getting older, and life is passing by, and I think I deserve to be somewhere better...
:o(
no subject
on 2003-11-07 02:39 pm (UTC)i think all that's true. you do deserve better than a windowless room. you just have to think pragmatically and strategically ... i'm going to pretend to be a wretched career counselor now.
regardless of whatever tempts or gnaws at you for the moment, the one thing you are absolutely sure of is that you are a writer, and that you want to write. this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing, around which everything else should revolve. because the rest of it can be counted as MEANS to an end.
i'm pre-empting some possible responses now:
those who create things, i think, and especially those who are conscious of media processes, seem to be afraid to 'go public' too soon - you don't want to be defined by the first thing you put out; you want to refine your writing to the point that it's critically unassailable, or to the point that you can control/spin perceptions of your writing (or of your public identity as a writer). fuck all that. first of all, you're already an amazingly insightful, gorgeous, measured writer - ask your friends here. respect what they have to say- from what i've read, these are not stupid people. (nor am i.)
if you need more encouragement, put yourself in a position to get your stuff reviewed by other writers - workshop, classes, etc. not a bad idea even if you don't need encouragement - it's important, i think, to be around people who are dedicated to what you are dedicated to - you need to see how entirely possible it is to write, to be a writer, to be ambitious. i'm not talking about joining a community centre or something - surround yourself with people of high caliber and high ambition. (e.g., university writing classes, at a place known for its connections to publishing, etc.) submit to magazines/journals, submit all the time.
you have to take a risk with your life. it's not getting any longer.
digression: i saw an interview with Don McKellar (Red Violin, Twitch City, etc.). the interviewer asked him whether he was embarrassed by any of his pieces; McKellar said (paraphrasing) he felt lucky to be able to stand behind all of his work. imagine being able to say that. imagine being able to say that what you've done in life, what you've produced, are things that added some new dimension to the world, something positive, something your own - that you used your given intellect and values and gifts with integrity.
now imagine you spent your life in advertising.
or worse, in bitterness because you were afraid to take a stand on your life, to use yourself, what is given in you, to say authentically, "I exist".
your job, your money situation, all of that are logistical elements, instrumental to the task you yourself have chosen. organize them around your first priority, which is, I believe, the right expression of your givenness.
no subject
on 2003-11-08 05:39 am (UTC)My contract runs out at the end of this month (but they want to extend it) My boss had promised that by this stage I would be doing more exciting work, in a room with his other researchers, but he hasn't stuck to his promise. Plus, the secretary at my work irritates me like no other human being has ever managed... and I just seriously think I can get a better job than this. The reason why I want to quit is that I want to go to Brazil for a good month and a half - get enough time to see my friends in Brazil (who I haven't seen in two years), my family... also help my mom with her work. THen I'll come back refreshed, get temp work while I look. Just the fact that I'll be in another office with other people, will be ok for me. I don't mind doing Admin Work for now, while I research where to take my writing...
This one lecturer who was away from our department because of maternity leave came to visit us recently. She looked at me and said: "Oliver, are you still here???" I could tell she knew I should be in a better job.
no subject
on 2003-11-07 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-08 05:48 am (UTC)By the way, you are the only person that really support my writing. I just want you to know that it means a lot to me...
♥
non-password-possessing lala here
on 2003-11-14 06:25 pm (UTC)http://dustylizard.com/
(this part of the site lists sites in terms of hits, from most to fewest)
http://dustylizard.com/community/modules.php?op=modload&name=Web_Links&file=index&l_op=viewlink&cid=1&orderby=hitsD
Re: non-password-possessing lala here
on 2003-11-16 02:52 am (UTC)thanks.
no subject
on 2003-11-07 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-07 03:38 am (UTC)i'm just so bored.
no subject
on 2003-11-07 05:43 am (UTC);o]
no subject
on 2003-11-08 05:05 am (UTC);o)
the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-07 07:57 am (UTC)I know what you mean, some days I fucking hate my job and want to kill all the stupid people
somtimes I have to exlain it to them over and over again, and it seems they still don't get it!
Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-08 05:14 am (UTC)Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-10 12:50 pm (UTC)Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-11 01:44 am (UTC)Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-11 07:52 am (UTC)doesn't the mad secretary keep you entertained?
Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-11 08:27 am (UTC)noooooooo!!!!
she is driving me nuts.
Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-11 08:48 am (UTC)Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-11 09:25 am (UTC)Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-12 06:55 am (UTC)Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-12 06:55 am (UTC)Re: the time difference sucks
on 2003-11-12 06:59 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-07 11:55 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-08 05:26 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-07 02:04 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-08 05:28 am (UTC)I deserve better.
no subject
on 2003-11-11 08:16 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-11 08:33 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-11 09:55 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-12 01:54 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-12 08:54 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-11-13 01:43 am (UTC);o]
no subject
on 2003-11-13 07:00 am (UTC)