The Nation's Bad Education

[dotinthesky]

What is worse: to be caught reading The Da Vinci Code on public transport, or one of Dan Brown's other novels? Because to read The Da Vinci Code tells the world that you are a sheep, a lemming with no taste; but to read another Dan Brown novel means that you actually liked The Da Vinci Code.

Other books you should not be caught dead reading on public transport:

• Harry Potter novels (for anyone over 14). Yes, they are pleasurable to read, but reading one in public is like going to work in your Halloween costume. There's a time and place (i.e. your home) for these if you are an adult.
  
• The Dummy's Guide to...
  
• How to Make Friends and Influence People
  
• Chick lit novels (these usually have pink or baby blue covers, with cartoonesque drawings.)
  
• Jehovah Witness pamphlets
  
• Celebrity magazines and trashy tabloids (although it's OK to read The Weekly World News.)
  
• Autobiographies by ex-Big Brother contestants
  

Any other reading material I should add to this list?

Comments

[kevyn-kronycles.livejournal.com]

Actually, Dan Brown's Angels and Demons was quite good, better than the DaVinci Code...of course, still no chef d'oeuvre in the literary department

And, yes, I have read Harry Potter on public transport and quite enjoyed it

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I'll never ever pick up a book by Dan Brown again. I didn't even finish The Da Vinci Code.

I always feel guilty when I read Harry Potter because I know I could be using my hours for something better written. It's sort of the same as when you realize you've spent your weekend playing videogames when you could have been doing something more productive with your time.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I met a guy once in Brasil whose brother had Dianetics on tape. He said his brother liked to listen to the tapes while commuting to work. I wonder how many people do that in London (with tapes or podcasts), to avoid being caught reading certain types of literature.

[sbeth76.livejournal.com]

I agree with you entirely and would like to add:

Novels by Danielle Steele - these generally have some raised banding of a metallic color on the cover and usually the same raised color for the title and her name

Self-help books "men are from mars..." "adult child of a transgendered alcoholic", etc.

"Auto" biographies of current celebrities, the type that usually appear in trashy tabloids. Paris, Nicole and some cast members of Laguna Beach, the real OC have them out now.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I saw someone reading "Men are From Mars..." once in the tube. Jeez.

[thermaland.livejournal.com]

Bomb-making for Dummies is not popular, I'm told.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Not popular and not easy to get a copy.

[kibean16.livejournal.com]

The Kama Sutra. Especially if you are over 50. Ick.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

If you don't know the Kama Sutra by heart when you reach 50, you might as well give up on life.

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

I was sat opposite a lady reading a copy of "Dr. Someone-or-Other's Guide to Good Bowel Health" the other day.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

At least you were not sitting beside her. ;-)

[guignolhornpipe.livejournal.com]

Novelisations of movies, i.e. Dreamgirls, the novel by Denene Millner based on the screenplay by Bill Condon based on the play by Tom Eyen.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

My library carries a copy of Jason X, the novel. *rolls eyes*

[kenoster.livejournal.com]

When I see DADAVinci code on someone's internet profile I know it means that person doesn't really read anything.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Or they just read whatever goes to No.1.

[strange.livejournal.com]

I agree with you on all counts but the Harry Potter one. I love seeing adults reading those books on transit, because I simply love the idea that some adults out there still have enough of a sense of whimsy to thoroughly enjoy them and not be embarrassed about enjoying them in public. It sounds hokey, but we all spend so much time dealing with the stresses of being grown-up, why not let your inner child out to play once in a while, especially during a long boring commute.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

It's a good point, and I agree that people shouldn't feel bad about letting their inner child out (which is why I think more people should read The World Weekly News in public.) But with Harry Potter, it has such an overwhelming marketing machine behind it - which comes along with videogames, films, toys, etc - that the image of carefree adult gets superimposed by something else in my mind.

[greenteablack.livejournal.com]

LOL I thought it was funny when the Harry Potter books came out with Adult covers so people wouldn't look like they were reading kids books on the subway. lol

[yaruar.livejournal.com]

they should bring out a version of the books which is actually well written instead, it would be much more useful.

Personally i'd add Stranger in a Strange Land to that list, not because it's a bad book, far from it, but because it caused mad old hippies to approach me on the tube and speak to me about whether i "grokked" it and how much it changed their lives. I would have prefered scientologists actually.

[yearning.livejournal.com]

I'd be very embarrassed to be seen reading the londonpaper/london lite. But then, nobody else seems to be...(I mean of people on the tube)

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Again, let's all *cross fingers* that Westminster Council bans them.

[bookishgal.livejournal.com]

I couldn't finish The Da Vinci Code. I could have if I wanted but I thought of all the other books I could be reading so I took it back to the library.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Same here (only in my case, I returned it to an aunt.)

[theairwebreathe.livejournal.com]

i had to read the da vinci code when i worked at the travel agency because we structured a tour around it. ultimately i ended up skimming through it and highlighting anything i recognized as a place or a work of art.

i've never actually read any harry potter books and don't plan to. i wish joan aiken's books were as popular. they are so much better written. her stories with dido twaite warped me for life in the best possible way. i used to read those on the train in chicago all the time, but i had editions with edward gorey illustrated covers.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking how someone reading Anne of Green Gables, for example, would make me feel alot more curious about them. There's something pleasurable about spotting someone reading against the norms.

I thought of another one!

[sbeth76.livejournal.com]

Dianetics - L. Ron Hubbard

[debutanteboy.livejournal.com]

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. What a great list. I would add that you should never read musicians' books of poetry, either.

And when I took a trip to Chicago last year, the entire time I read Jade Goody's life story. So don't judge me. Addressing the problem is the first step to overcoming it.

[idioticpoet.livejournal.com]

you should never read musicians' books of poetry, either

-Why?

[suede.livejournal.com]

Any about improving your sex life... The other day I was buying a "internet for dummies" book for my mother and I was feeling really embarrassed until the man before me asked for a book called "Sex can be fun". I thought it could have been the most embarrassing book to buy ever.

hehe

[idioticpoet.livejournal.com]

sex can be fun sounds like that title should be printed as a question. ;)

[idioticpoet.livejournal.com]

Yesterday, I read in the local paper that 50% of providence RI schoolage children (up to 11th grade) are reading below their grede level (some of whom, are reading 3 grades below level).

I can't speak for britain's education system. however, what i've gleaned from observations and encounters of the years here, and in michigan, I'm no longer surprised by which authors are popular. Regardless, if someone elese's taste in lit isn't my own, I'd rather see someone reading than not.

Also, the WWN prints one hell of a crossword puzzle.

[idioticpoet.livejournal.com]

er...that should be: "...over the years..." not "...of the years..."

guess I need sum a 'dat remedeel lurnin' too. ;)

[phyrephly.livejournal.com]

the other day i realized how completely hilarious i must have looked reading some scary black book with huge red letters reading "KAFKA." i was wearing one of those fluffy down coats and it was baby pink.


i am not ashamed of liking Harry Potter because i started reading those books when i was ten. if those books came out now i would be ashamed to read them, but as it is i need to find out what happens to that ludicrous pop icon in the approaching final installment!


i often see young black girls reading these really ridiculous books written by gay black men that are supposed to be homosexual erotica. they have these overly-muscled, ferocious looking men on them, usually dripping with water, behind huge hot pink font spelling out something scandalous. i don't really understand this to be honest.

Were you going for the Belle & Sebastian look?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

[meemeedarling.livejournal.com]

You demon! I will read Harry Potter with pride! :-)
Also, Harry Potter is machine in pop culture, because it's GOOD!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

You demon!

You can call me Lord Voldemort... ;-)

[showwyourteeth.livejournal.com]

AGREED!
and thankyou again for writing what we're all thinking very well.
And no more 'Go Ask Alice' please. Most teenagers read it because they think it gives them some depth, and perhaps, a brain.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Never heard of 'Go Ask Alice'. Maybe it's just a Canadian thing?

[dilvsy.livejournal.com]

i read my stupid celebrity magazines on the subway, and don't hide it

*LOL*

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

If you give them up for The World Weekly News, I forgive you.

[stormecho.livejournal.com]

I try not to worry about what the other subway riders think of what I'm reading. For the most part, they don't know me, and I don't know them. No big deal.
If it's porn, I try and keep a low profile, though something sometimes gives me away.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

You read porn in public trains? LOL!

Book Snob

[msanthropist.livejournal.com]

My life is NOT for appearances and I shall continue to read any damn thing I please anytime, anywhere, thank you very much. Hmph! Ollie, I am surprised at you...

Re: Book Snob

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

It's not so much your freedom of reading that is at stake, but what it says about you. Sure, you have all freedom in the world to read Ann Coulter, but do you really want to do it?

[olamina.livejournal.com]

I sometimes read things just to get stares but to the list I can add two books that got me stared at

Dianetics (or anything Scientology related)

and

The Playboy Interviews (even though they are interviews with authors and artists and politicians and NOTHING to do with sex)

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Scientology is a big NoNo over here (despite the huge temple they just opened downtown.) I think you can get away with Playboy though, since many people openly read The Sun (which has its notorious Page 3 girls.)

[punk-in-chains.livejournal.com]

I had a hard time letting myself read Double Fudge by Judy Blume on the bus. I did manage it, but only by angling the book weirdly so that the cover wasn't as visible. My urge to not give a shit what anyone thinks of me was battling with my urge not to see my own reflection and think that I looked like I was reading at an ten year old's level. Especially seeing as I was reading at that level at six...

Also, Nancy Drew books don't make you look too cool. I shouldn't worry too much though...at a guess I'd say about 50% of the people on my bus route are illiterate anyway, so...

Pic