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Strangers in All Saints
Aug. 10th, 2009 08:05 pmKevin's sister got married this weekend in Chelmsford, Essex. I used to think the whole of Essex was as unappealing as Romford but I was wrong: Chelmsford has a nice little downtown centre, a canal teeming with fish and canoes, outdoor tables that nearly transport you to continental Europe and a very affordable Travelodge (£20 a night!) with the friendliest of staff. The ceremony itself was very traditional (and beautiful), performed in All Saints Church, which looked and felt distinguishedly old (Restoration period, with newer bits attached to it?)
I was asked to be one of the ushers, a red rose pinned to my brand new H&M black suit's lapel by the mother-in-law's sister a few minutes before the ceremony. I stood by the pews with Kevin and the groom's ten-year-old nephew, handing out programmes and directing people to either the right (groom's family) or the left (Sissy Jen's fam).
Amidst the small group of formally attired family members, I noticed a mother and daughter dressed somewhat casually. They took programmes from me and sat with the groom's family. I didn't think much of it until the ceremony was over and I saw them walking away. I pointed this out to Kevin and he wondered if they might re-join us for the party after the dinner. They didn't. I now wonder if they are "wedding crashers" - taking an hour of their Saturdays to sit through any ceremony that will offer them choir songs, beautiful dresses, some tears, some tangential magic. Wedding Spotters.
I was worried about meeting Kevin's family from Canada and Ireland, an older generation of Catholics born and raised in small towns who travelled to Chelmsford especially for the occasion and who had never been in the same room together. They couldn't have been warmer and friendlier. By yesterday, when we were saying our goodbyes, we received invitations to visit and stay with some of them. It made me feel how lucky we are to have such open and understanding families - people who are fully aware how long Kevin and I have been together, and who are happy for us, and who want to get to know us better. Last night, it felt like a come down to have our apartment empty of Kevin's mom and sister, the expectation and tension of the past two weeks finally over.
Some people asked us when we are getting married. Weddings are such terrifying things, I can't even think about it for a second without freaking out. I don't know if it's the thing for us... we have been together now for nearly 11 years - why change? But, at the same time, it was so lovely to see these families meet, share a day, stagger away happily drunk from too much food and drinking.
I'll need to attend a few more weddings (for research purposes) before I make up my mind.
I was asked to be one of the ushers, a red rose pinned to my brand new H&M black suit's lapel by the mother-in-law's sister a few minutes before the ceremony. I stood by the pews with Kevin and the groom's ten-year-old nephew, handing out programmes and directing people to either the right (groom's family) or the left (Sissy Jen's fam).
Amidst the small group of formally attired family members, I noticed a mother and daughter dressed somewhat casually. They took programmes from me and sat with the groom's family. I didn't think much of it until the ceremony was over and I saw them walking away. I pointed this out to Kevin and he wondered if they might re-join us for the party after the dinner. They didn't. I now wonder if they are "wedding crashers" - taking an hour of their Saturdays to sit through any ceremony that will offer them choir songs, beautiful dresses, some tears, some tangential magic. Wedding Spotters.
I was worried about meeting Kevin's family from Canada and Ireland, an older generation of Catholics born and raised in small towns who travelled to Chelmsford especially for the occasion and who had never been in the same room together. They couldn't have been warmer and friendlier. By yesterday, when we were saying our goodbyes, we received invitations to visit and stay with some of them. It made me feel how lucky we are to have such open and understanding families - people who are fully aware how long Kevin and I have been together, and who are happy for us, and who want to get to know us better. Last night, it felt like a come down to have our apartment empty of Kevin's mom and sister, the expectation and tension of the past two weeks finally over.
Some people asked us when we are getting married. Weddings are such terrifying things, I can't even think about it for a second without freaking out. I don't know if it's the thing for us... we have been together now for nearly 11 years - why change? But, at the same time, it was so lovely to see these families meet, share a day, stagger away happily drunk from too much food and drinking.
I'll need to attend a few more weddings (for research purposes) before I make up my mind.
