Dot in the Sky (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dotinthesky) wrote2003-03-13 04:35 pm
dotinthesky) wrote2003-03-13 04:35 pm
Freedom Fuck Me, Baby.
Stolen from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
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- Wienerschnitzel's hot dogs can now be topped with yellow, German, or freedom mustard... Hans Applepie, a spokesman for the fast food chain said Monday, "We would have renamed the German mustard too, but so far nobody's thought of a synonym for freedom that starts with a 'g'." Mr. Applepie assured this reporter that the corporation had the world's top crossword players working on it. Meanwhile, the company is considering a name change. "Freedom Franks" has been suggested.
- Bakeries and supermarkets throughout America will soon be selling "freedom bread". Several members of the Italian-American Culinary Association have protested this change - because, after all, their bread could beat the french.
- Various works of Voltaire, Tocqueville, d'Holbach, Montaigne, and others have been banned by libraries across the nation on the grounds that they are "opposed to freedom". In other news, Irony was declared missing and most likely dead.
- This news brief brought to you by the Bush administration's Department of Health: Reminding you not to freedom kiss on the first date. Or any time before marriage.
nonexistent- Wienerschnitzel's hot dogs can now be topped with yellow, German, or freedom mustard... Hans Applepie, a spokesman for the fast food chain said Monday, "We would have renamed the German mustard too, but so far nobody's thought of a synonym for freedom that starts with a 'g'." Mr. Applepie assured this reporter that the corporation had the world's top crossword players working on it. Meanwhile, the company is considering a name change. "Freedom Franks" has been suggested.
- Bakeries and supermarkets throughout America will soon be selling "freedom bread". Several members of the Italian-American Culinary Association have protested this change - because, after all, their bread could beat the french.
- Various works of Voltaire, Tocqueville, d'Holbach, Montaigne, and others have been banned by libraries across the nation on the grounds that they are "opposed to freedom". In other news, Irony was declared missing and most likely dead.
- This news brief brought to you by the Bush administration's Department of Health: Reminding you not to freedom kiss on the first date. Or any time before marriage.
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