Freedom Fuck Me, Baby.

[dotinthesky]

Stolen from nonexistent


- Wienerschnitzel's hot dogs can now be topped with yellow, German, or freedom mustard... Hans Applepie, a spokesman for the fast food chain said Monday, "We would have renamed the German mustard too, but so far nobody's thought of a synonym for freedom that starts with a 'g'." Mr. Applepie assured this reporter that the corporation had the world's top crossword players working on it. Meanwhile, the company is considering a name change. "Freedom Franks" has been suggested.

- Bakeries and supermarkets throughout America will soon be selling "freedom bread". Several members of the Italian-American Culinary Association have protested this change - because, after all, their bread could beat the french.

- Various works of Voltaire, Tocqueville, d'Holbach, Montaigne, and others have been banned by libraries across the nation on the grounds that they are "opposed to freedom". In other news, Irony was declared missing and most likely dead.

- This news brief brought to you by the Bush administration's Department of Health: Reminding you not to freedom kiss on the first date. Or any time before marriage.

Comments

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

And to think, we owe our marriage to you, Ollie.

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

well, i always wanted to be a marriage destroyer, so maybe this is a good moment...

[retellit.livejournal.com]

you've *always* wanted to destroy marriages? is there something deep and psychological that goes with that or are you just bitter and queeny?

Re:

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

hahaha...

maybe it's because I`ve been with Kevin for 4years and a half now... and I`m psychologically needing some fresh air!

(just kidding... i love my kebs!)

Re:

[soopahiro.livejournal.com]

That seems like an odd career aspiration to me.