Please Read Below Carefully

[dotinthesky]

I had a brilliant idea this morning: what if I just stayed unemployed? And what if you helped me accomplish this?

I have roughly 70 or so friends in Livejournal. If all of you paid me 20 pounds a month (40 U.S. dollars, 2800 Canadian dollars), that would cover my rent, clothes, food and a bit of extra for music. I could be so happy.

I can hear you wonder what’s in it for you. I can hear you ask whether I’ve gone complete Guns & Roses in the head.

Well, NO! I’ve just realized the most obvious and fun alternative available: I would be working for you. Paying me 20 pounds a month gives you the right to tell me what to do (with the exception of a few things which we’ll have to decide later – i.e. killing old ladies, finding a job, scatology, etc.) Wouldn’t that be great? You’d be in control of my life. Didn’t you always want to belong to a Reality Show? Here’s your chance. The rate is a little excessive I know, but that’s just a reflection of the exclusivity you’ll have over my life and actions.

Please make this unhappy Reality Show star happy. Give him a comfortable life, freedom from the clutches of Office culture. It’s almost your duty.

Comments

[pantomimewhore.livejournal.com]

haha, this is why I love you Ollie. :D

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

gimme da money.

[icymorning.livejournal.com]

20 pounds ... 200 old francs, 30 euros per month.

if i could have sold back this concert ticket i couldn't use yesterday i would have gratefully sent them to you. but that's a bit expensive considering i'm not a slave to the wage (ie. i'm a burden for my parents).

but that could work.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

And what would you like me to do for you during the month of April?*






* (charges applicable only to the next working month.)

[icymorning.livejournal.com]

Passing my exams.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

done.



*goes rent My Cousin Vinny to learn how to be a lawyer*

[androktone.livejournal.com]

Thats almost tempting. Could we turn you into a goth?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

yes, you could.

=)



(ops, am I still allowed to make smiley faces?)

[dilvalicious.livejournal.com]

I already gave at the office

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

you gave what at the office?

[dilvalicious.livejournal.com]

money

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

money changes everything.

[dilvalicious.livejournal.com]

she bop, you bop a we bop

[4q.livejournal.com]

hmmm unfournatly I think that one of the non negotiables would be the one thing I want you to do...

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

i'm afraid I don't have a computer cam! So you wouldn't be able to see anything...

:P

[4q.livejournal.com]

ha ha well I would ahve to buy one then (okie these new nails are making it very ahrd to type please excuse my worse then usual spelling

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

LOL>... I'm just imagining you with those nails that are so long they curl.

[4q.livejournal.com]

no they aren't that long I am just not sued to them at all. they are quite short actually in terms of nails

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

did you paint them too?

[4q.livejournal.com]

I have a double french manicure! oohhh ohh it's sexxxayyyy

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

did it cost a lot?

[4q.livejournal.com]

not that much no...45 dollars

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

that's about 10 pounds... very good!

[4q.livejournal.com]

I agree! and they were both lovely people

[ickycrawlything.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

i'll give you a discount because you've been sending me awesome recipes.

[ickycrawlything.livejournal.com]

Bwhahahaha...you're so funny...

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

If I could make everyone laugh at least once a day, i'd be happy.

:P

[sbeth76.livejournal.com]

brilliant!
You should set up some kind of automatic withdrawal - what if we're too flaky to remember to pay?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

People could pay in advance if they think they are going to forget.

[dreamwarrior.livejournal.com]

20 pounds is alot in canadian money!!!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I can buy half of Toronto with it.

:P

[dreamwarrior.livejournal.com]

lol your silly

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I can buy half of Toronto with it.

:P

[moonlightjoy.livejournal.com]

hehe! that'd show you who your friends are, eh?

I wonder if you could set up a paypal account for just that.. Raise money in the "Ollie the Idle" contest!

would this even be possible? would you be taxed on what you make? is it legal??

funny enough, I thought of something similar for me! hehe...

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I have to inform myself on this whole paypal thing...

for now, I'll accept cheques, money and credit card numbers.

[moonlightjoy.livejournal.com]

let's see.. you're a friend of 82 people.. so that''s more than 80 people who would be willing to donate.. how much? per month.. a small amount.. it could be done!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

if only...

:)

[roguejournal.livejournal.com]

can i pay in REAL???

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

yes! That will be... 100 reais!

[roguejournal.livejournal.com]

geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebuz....

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Meire... recebi ums forwards da Ronise hoje... estou me sentindo super mal de nao ter ligado para ela, pois sei que ela vai ficar super ofendida se souber que estive em Londrina e nem dei um alo...

oque faco???

[roguejournal.livejournal.com]

hmmmm....
ai..pensei que vc tivesse ligado aquele dia...ate esqueci de perguntar...
well, vc pode falar que veio mas foi super rapido....e que nao ia nem dar tempo de encontrar ninguem...pode ate dizer que vc nem me viu!!
♥
se vc pensar em algo melhor, me diga....

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

talvez eu de uma ligada rapida para ela daqui mesmo... ai posso conversar e dizer que fui super rapido, como voce sugeriu.

Te conto depois.

Abracos.

[roguejournal.livejournal.com]

oooookay!!!!
good luck!