The Fat ***** Factor
Mar. 29th, 2004 10:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dotintheskyI have an interview at a temp agency today. They have asked me to bring my passport. I pull out my black suit, the one made to fit me perfectly in Brazil, two year ago. I try the trousers and realize my stomach hangs out of it like a bursting water bottle. I am fat.
No, I'm not fat. I'm normal looking. I'm actually perfect in height and weight. I'm 70 kilos (give or take 4 kilos) and 6 foot. Or 147 pounds and 1.80 metres. But my weight is not muscle, it's localized fat. And that my friends is all thanks to drinking too many caipirinhas in Brasil: sugar + lime + ice + sugar cane spirits = tubby ollie.
Now I know what it feels like to have your trousers pinch your waist, to suck in your gut and feel your breath shorten. Now I know what it feels like to crave a prolongued fast, to eat only popcorn (no butter) for the next fortnight. That, my friends, is the situation in ollie land.
I called Kevin (who worked for said temp agency) and he said it would be alright for me to go in my blue cords (Bekki has seen them. :P) and my black shirt. Smart casual. And I need a hair cut too.
No, I'm not fat. I'm normal looking. I'm actually perfect in height and weight. I'm 70 kilos (give or take 4 kilos) and 6 foot. Or 147 pounds and 1.80 metres. But my weight is not muscle, it's localized fat. And that my friends is all thanks to drinking too many caipirinhas in Brasil: sugar + lime + ice + sugar cane spirits = tubby ollie.
Now I know what it feels like to have your trousers pinch your waist, to suck in your gut and feel your breath shorten. Now I know what it feels like to crave a prolongued fast, to eat only popcorn (no butter) for the next fortnight. That, my friends, is the situation in ollie land.
I called Kevin (who worked for said temp agency) and he said it would be alright for me to go in my blue cords (Bekki has seen them. :P) and my black shirt. Smart casual. And I need a hair cut too.
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on 2004-03-29 01:54 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-29 02:09 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-29 08:07 am (UTC)listen soon * my bloody valentine *
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on 2004-03-30 03:59 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-29 08:08 am (UTC)I couldnt tell if you were porky when I saw you, you had a jumper on!
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on 2004-03-30 04:00 am (UTC)I'm just sad that I can't fit into those work trousers anymore and have to brave Oxford Street for shopping.
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on 2004-03-29 09:12 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-30 04:02 am (UTC);)
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on 2004-03-30 08:37 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-31 01:26 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-29 10:27 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-30 04:05 am (UTC);)
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on 2004-03-29 02:26 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-30 04:08 am (UTC)You are damn right.
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on 2004-03-29 02:37 pm (UTC)btw, I keep forgetting to tell you - you requested new journals a while back and I had forgotten about this guy, but he's posted a few times since.
Boy, you need to at least get a little protein every day, eh? It's not healthy to do a popcorn diet. Please eat fruit and I dunno, soy milk every day. K?
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on 2004-03-30 04:10 am (UTC)By the way, I think I erased by mistake that journal of yours with your poetry... send it my way again please!
:P
I'll go check on your friend right now.
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on 2004-03-30 05:41 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-31 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-31 06:00 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-30 05:41 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-03-31 01:41 am (UTC)