Just four more days of penitence

[dotinthesky]

Little Lamb, on a hill
Run fast as you can
The Christians, they want to kill you
And your life has not even begun

- Morrissey


I wasn't employed to edit anything Catholic. I’m the editor’s secretary. They gave me a chair covered with thick white dog’s hair. Seriously. I tried taking some off with sticky tape, but it’s a day-long job. On my desk, the photo of said white dog. With its tongue sticking out.

People were polite. Emails were about homosexuality in seminars, women priests, Iraq, the Pope’s Hitler. I was nervous and answered the phone like a 16-year-old bubblegum-chewing blonde. I could see the pain on the editor’s face with my incompetency. I couldn’t stand her bad breath. I fucked up and felt like I loser when I left. I would take down people’s name incorrectly… or forget to jot down their phone numbers.

My desk was covered with poems and postcards. Mostly Jesus but also a DONKEY motif! And a poem about donkeys aswell… Did I mention everyone was nice? Nice - nice – but oh so uncomfortable. And those accents – Oxford is stapled to their tongues. Throughout the day, one by one, they asked me where my accent was from. Accents are VERY IMPORTANT for these people. Also various types of books on my shelf. A biography on the Pope. Collections of poetry. And abridged tapes of Agatha Christie novels.

There’s another brazilian in the office but I didn’t meet him today. What lies ahead. What lies beneath. What did the editor mean when I was leaving and she said: “Good God”? She made me feel like shit. But I forgive, like a good Christian. Homo Christian. Cock-loving Christian.

I can’t stand my work situation. Every week a new place. It detonates my insides, my confidence. I have no prospects. The Summer looks cold to me. I feel lonely in London, lost. Keep telling myself: you have so much going for you, you are better off than most people. What a selfish thought to prop myself up.

***


Your dog doesn't bark
Because your dog doesn't exist

Comments

[4q.livejournal.com]

I love you so much Ollie, hang in there, it will get better! I wish there was something less cliche and lame that I could say, but I really am not sure what else could make you feel any better. You are a smart boy, and you have tons of talent. It will be recognized!

I still have to read your story, I started it several times but keep getting interrupted!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

That's not cliche at all... thank you for saying that to me. I'm home alone, with a glass of beer, and I have to go to bed soon. My time outside of work goes by so fast.

I don't care at all about a crap job, I've decided... as long as I feel like I get along with the people, as long as there's some interest involved. I know awesome jobs aren't growing in trees (ha! that's my cliche) but it's not too much to ask to be somewhere comfortable, with decent people, and decent money...

Don't worry about reading the story! It was more of an exercise to stitch together the sentences all those people gave me... but it's a very confusing result. Maybe when I edit it and make it better, you can read it.

[4q.livejournal.com]

well see I guess I am luck because thats how I feel about my job, and it scares me to think about leaving, because it really does rule, and I can't imagine there are many other places like this to work.

see the important thing is what you do outside of work, and how you spend your time. I have to email you and talk to you about something okie?

I miss you so so much

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Ok... send me the email... Maybe we can talk again soon on the phone?

I'm going to go read a bit now and then bed. have a lovely evening.

♥

[dilvalicious.livejournal.com]

*hug*

Poor Ollie!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

i need a physical hug. and a good job.

[dilvalicious.livejournal.com]

i wish i could give you both

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

one day you will. then you'll find out I don't let go easily. Then you'll have trouble explaining the ollie hanging from your neck to your co-workers.

[dilvalicious.livejournal.com]

they'll just think it is some weird growth

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

a weird growth with Tourette.

[jellyfish93.livejournal.com]

i will hire you as the videographer for my homemade porn endeavors.

"cock-loving christian." that phrase will ring beautifully throughout my head the rest of the day.
=)

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

you just made me smile... i needed that.

So you are making home-made movies now? Have you got any solo "Sinister Devil" vids out there? I've got cash...

[jellyfish93.livejournal.com]

hahaha...

for the big bucks i'll fork over something even more exciting than a solo vid...maybe him and someone else you know...?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Heh! When you send the tape, can you sign some documents promising you won't sue anyone if they end up circulated on the internet?

[ickycrawlything.livejournal.com]

Oh hunny...I'm sorry. You know, stick it out for a few more and see if it gets any better. If by next week you feel the same or worse, get out! No sense in damaging your soul for a couple of bucks.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Well... it's only two more days now, and it's gotten better. But I wonder what they are going to find for me for next week? I hope the temp agency gets me something more permanent... and interesting.

[just-for-a-day.livejournal.com]

Don't keep a job you hate. Save money for as long as you can and then get out. You're smart and i'm sure can find something else easy. Life is too short you know.. to feel horrible every waking hour. Do what you got to do to be where you need to be, oh i'm so profound it scares me :-)) . xoxo

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

lol... well, it's only temporary work. It just bugs me to be in a different place everyweek. I wish to be somewhere more stable, but interesting...

[waves-in-space.livejournal.com]

not that long ago i was OBSESSED with reading agatha christie novels, i think i was 16 (which makes is MORE than a few years ago), i was always told she was 'old ladys' reading' but whatever, i thoroughly enojoyed it at that age - one of my fav's was 'a pocket full of rye'

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I read all of her novels. I actually think I started reading them in 3rd grade! My favourite is The Crooked House (which was her favourite aswell.)

[moonlightjoy.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your job situation... What did you study in University?

Any luck on the moving-to-Canada front?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I double majored in English Literature and History of Western Civilization. I'm starting to think that I need to return to Uni and become a lecturer. ;)

The moving to Canada plan gets further and further away... Kevin's sisters are moving here this Summer and we are going to live in a big house, like a big family.

[moonlightjoy.livejournal.com]

ooohhh,, fun?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

should be good fun. We're all going to stay home and play lost of Gamecube.

;)

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

That's because you've been drawing that pentagram on your porch. As I told you before, if you want to call the Dog, you must do it in your CELLAR.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Ollie is very psychic. I also know you've been using the wrong type of human fluids in the composition of some of them. You clearly need to watch Charmed more often.


(Ignore your Teletubbies. The Cellar is the place to be.)

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean your body fluids. How do you know what went into that paint bucket before you bought it, or even after you left it unatended in your own house? Hmm? Hmmmmm?

I'm psychic and you must not ignore my warnings. Right now, I'm sensing that you must collect your flashlight and crawl into the cellar. A happy secret awaits you there.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

LOL

There are no spiders there. But there is a Happy Secret, for sure.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

If you want a clue, you must ask the man from the office room beside yours.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

go into the cellar and draw a picture of him on the sand.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Maybe she can strap a video camera on your helmet and communicate with you via Walkie Talkie while you explore.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

go ahead then, take a peek.