The 4-minute post

[dotinthesky]

I'm unprepared for today's cold spell, my lips are chapped, and I'm wondering why perfectly intelligent breeders straight people insist on using the word gay in a derogatory form:

Did you see her outfit last night? She looked sooooo gay!

Oh my God! Backstreet Boys are soooo gay!

I was, like, on the phone to my friend Chad and he said the gayest thing!


We are not amused. By "we", I mean gay people who have grown up knowing that something was slightly different about them, who had effeminate voices (like myself) and had to put up with other kids calling them names. Why do you want to squash us like that? In any case, "gay" means happy - so why try to bastardize the word and make it negative?

Are you one of those people that reads Vice magazine because you are soooo cool, and you feel soooooo post-modern and above caring? The people who I've seen using the word "gay" in a pejorative form are people who have gay friends. Maybe everyone is so sophisticated and beyond caring. Maybe I'm guilty too because I've made mix tapes for my friends with Patti Smith's song "Rock and Roll Nigger".

Should you and I not care about words anymore?

Comments

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I just think it's too easy a word - there are better and stronger ones to be used.

So you have never known a gay person before me?!?

[ickycrawlything.livejournal.com]

Never...the groups of people I hung around with wasn't a healthy place for any gay person. Up until maybe 2 yrs ago I chose not to be friends with any homosexual person...I guess you could say I was kind of "anti." So I kept myself at a distance from anyone of anything that was related. ((I'm being very honest with you here! GASP)) I wouldn't even go to a restaurant that had gay\transvestite waiters. Yeah so, you are my first gay friend. And I'll tell you that it shocked those around me that I was even talking to someone who was gay...not b/c they didn't but b/c I never had and b/c of my extreme views before now.

I decided to make major changes in my life when I became a mother. I finally looked at my real face and didn't like what I saw.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Thank you for telling me that... you know, ever since I've begun reading your journal I've sensed that you have this enormous power, and I know that with power sometimes comes a lot of conflict and clash - I feel honoured to be your first gay friend... I understand people who don't sympathize or like gays. I was one of those people once, when I was in denial about my nature. I also know that sometimes gays are portrayed in a negative way by the media (deservedly so in certain cases.)

The solution to any conflict, really, is communication and learning about the other isn't it? If those terrorists, for example, saw the West as more than just sinners - but mothers, children, good people too - then they might think twice about their holy war.

[ickycrawlything.livejournal.com]

I totally agree and if we could see them as more than terrorists then maybe we wouldn't be so quick to bomb without giving families a chance to leave. I don't know....it's a strange and complex situation when it comes to war. It's like there's no winning no matter what you do.

I'm not really sure where it all began for me...when did I start to become so hateful of things and people as a whole? Once upon a time I was this loving, trusting open minded gal who turned cold and jaded. I think that I didn't know anything about myself and so I picked really fucked up friends that I imagined I could learn from, lol. I've been in solitude for years with absolutely ZERO friends...and decided to start with online pals, much to everyones amusement. I don't really understand "gay." I don't get most of it, although I'm not sure if it's much different than being in a "straight" relationship or lifestyle. It's not something I think or talk about really since Zalman is still sort of against the whole idea of it. He thinks I'm retarded and can't make up my mind on how I feel...I'm not sure how I feel but who says I need to feel any which way. I don't think it's something I have the right to have an opinion about...why be judgmental? So when I started watching will and grace and venturing out into the gay media world, I was poked and prodded and all I could think of through the "ugh's" and the "this is fucking gross" is..."woah, I missed out on some really good shows!" Funny isn't it?