Just another day

[dotinthesky]

I woke up from a dream where I was back living with him. Nothing special, nothing unusual – just our daily routines, how we hung out together, the music we played in the background, the books we read side by side in bed.

A sharp pang in the heart: the distance expanding between the life shared in London and the one I now lead on my own in Brazil.

I messaged him on WhatsApp that I’d dreamt with him and had woken up feeling nostalgic. He replied with an emoticon smile and that he also felt the same.

We updated each other on our lives. Temperatures dropping in Madrid, a cold coming on for him. Sunny days in Brazil, hours I’d spent gardening, the spring showers that wouldn’t arrive. His visit to a small exhibition of drawings by one of C's’ friends. My daily yoga routine, my family’s hopes for the guesthouse.

We had made the impossible possible: separate lives in different continents, forging new pathways in life. The dust had settled and life was now softening us into new shapes, new realities.

During our last months together I often caught myself thinking: very soon I won’t be sharing a bed with him anymore. Very soon I won’t touch his head like this anymore…

In the evening, when I sat down to write in my diary, I noticed the date. It would have been our 21st anniversary.

This is a submission for Week 4 of LJ Idol's Season 11.

Comments

[kittenboo.livejournal.com]

21 years is certainly a long time. Life changes and we change with it don’t we? Sometimes not by choice, but by what life throws at us.

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Absolutely - I think change is unavoidable! What makes life enjoyable is whether we can accept them, and roll with them, or not.

[olamina.livejournal.com]

I gasped and grabbed my chest after the first sentence. I ache for your loss.

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

I lost a lover but I gained a very good friend :)

[geosh.livejournal.com]

<3

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I felt the pain in this entry. I understand some of this. I’m sorry that your lives didn’t bring the two of you closer.

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

To be fair, we are very close. Perhaps we don't chat tons, and live far from each other now, but the feeling between us is very loving and I have no doubt it will feel very loving when we meet again.

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

This is so very sad. Twenty-one years is a long time together, only to wind up with separate lives.

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

In a way it's sad that the relationship didn't continue on, but the way it changed was truly the best for the both of us, and we have remained loving to each other, which I'm even more grateful for!

[elderwoodpixie.livejournal.com]

I love how you're still friends and you can talk about the past fondly. Your story feels very intimate. Nicely done!

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Thank you! x

[bleodswean.livejournal.com]

I cannot stress how much your gentle way with and around words creates such a moving and utterly real bit of writing. Beautiful. And *hugs*

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Thank you :-) xx

[turnintobirds.livejournal.com]

This is so sad and so beautiful. Thinking of you. x

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Thank you x

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Hugs...That last line got me!

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading! x

[nikkiii-brown.livejournal.com]

I think it says a lot about your relationship with each other that you felt comfortable messaging him about the dream. This was wonderful!

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Thank you - glad you enjoyed it. I do feel very lucky for having come out of it with such a loving friend.

[ellison.livejournal.com]

You write with such a beautiful, enchanting tone. I really enjoy your writing. I'm glad the two of you are close in heart, even with many miles between you.

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Many thanks :-)

[murielle.livejournal.com]

Ah, sad. But hopeful. I admire this couple for trying to work things out amicably. Good for them!

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's all working out! :)

[static_abyss]

This seems to be the week for the painfully bittersweet entries. I felt all of this very deeply because you wrote it so very lovingly. Beautiful entry.

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much x

[sweeny-todd.livejournal.com]

21st anniversary... that's some timing, there!

I'm glad you still have such a good friend in your life.

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad too. Thank you for reading! :)

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Oh, gosh. 21 years!

Is this a breakup you wanted, or is it one forced by circumstances? The latter is so much harder. :(

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

It was a natural conclusion to our relationship. We changed over the years and came to a point where we had new things to explore, separate from each other. The timing was right too because I then had to return to Brasil to take care of my mom. But I'm still very glad to have him in my life. :)

[geosh.livejournal.com]

Love this

[picosgemeos.livejournal.com]

Thanks my friend.