Shagging Pigeons and Dirty Swimming Pools

[dotinthesky]

Two pigeons were shagging beside me while I ate my lunch. Eventhough there was a thick glass window between us, I could almost hear all the cooing as they moved through their tantric positions.

Spring must be around the corner. A new wave of people have descended upon my local pool, interested in getting fit for the Summer. On Monday, I spotted a young guy in the locker room. I'm so used to seeing the usual 90 year olds that I almost embarrassed myself by gaping at his body for far too long as he bent down to slip on his swimming trunks. I must have been half asleep.

I hadn't been back to the pool since my fall in the bathtub. But after only two sessions, I've already been hit by bad luck again: my throat is experiencing that most annoying "hrm hrm" symptom of germ infestation. I won't let those little bastards keep me down: I've bought some powerful Blackcurrant Halls and I'm drinking enough cups of tea to generate a piece of art installation called "My Niagara Falls Penis".

When I get to Brasil, I want to return to that swimming pool in Londrina I discovered last year. I could do with a personal trainer telling me to do 500 laps holding a board and alternating my breathing. It's that kind of pain that gets you in shape. One of my co-workers will be travelling through Brasil around the same time as me. I'm planning on meeting up with her in Sao Paulo, or at least arranging for her to stay at my mom's farm. My flight leaves a month from today. As the date approaches, expect the usual paranoid post where I fret about who will get my possessions when my plane sinks in the Atlantic ocean.

Comments

[sublimevisions.livejournal.com]

i've never seen pigeons shag. I never knew quite how they mated.

you are so lucky to go to brazil! I would love the chance.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

One pigeons kept nuzzling the neck of the other one, getting her hot and bothered, and then suddenly there were tons of feathers floating everywhere.

Hey, maybe one day I'll meet up with you in Brasil and travel around with you. ;-)

[desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com]

I should send you a box of Emergen-C, that stuff's awesome for before-you-get-a-cold!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Maybe they have it here? I'm hitting Boots after work.

[desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com]

good thought.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I don't chew gum! I was living in Singapore when a ban was passed on gums and, after thinking carefully about why they didn't like it, I decided that they were right. I never looked back.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I'm chewing muesli right now, which is close enough.

[tonight-we-fly.livejournal.com]

"My Niagara Falls Penis"

What's coming up next in the Turbine Hall at the Tate Modern?

Have you thought about becoming a contributor to what I believe is called The Unilever Series?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

The Tate Modern rejected my work as too controvertial.

What's the Unilever Series?

[tonight-we-fly.livejournal.com]

It's just an artistic name for everything they happen to display in the Turbine Hall.

Or, alternatively, a double entendre when this Niagara Falls "performance art" piece goes up there shortly...

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

It's weird, the "Niagara Falls" piece has failed to materialize despite copious amounts of tea. I just hope it doesn't decide to manifest itself when I'm asleep.

[hunterjr.livejournal.com]

Ollie you dork! :P Your plane won't sink in the atlantic ocean! XD Stop saying stuffs like that.
Oh, did you fell in the bathtub? I need to continue to read my LJ friends page... I'll soon read that entry :)

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I fell but I'm now back to form. No worries. ;-)

[hunterjr.livejournal.com]

ai ai, I was away from LJ when that happened... x_x
I'm glad you were not killed by the evil bathtub!

Blackcurrant Halls!!!

[74oe.livejournal.com]

Where do you get them???!!! They used to sell them in Canada - but no longer. I've been told that they no longer make them, and my stash is slowly running out!

Oe

Re: Blackcurrant Halls!!!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

They are sold everywhere here in England. I can get them from any corner store. Do you have any friends living in Europe? You could get one of them to send you a care package filled with them. ;-)