Memorize the Friday

[dotinthesky]

I'm in a horrible mood today. I don't know if it's because of the excrutiantingly long play I saw last night (The Royal Hunt of the Sun), the disappearance of the sun, the nightmare I had about being fired, the impending flight to Brasil and all its economic horrors, the tickling cough that just won't go away or the long tedious hours stretching ahead today. Whatever it is, it's making me cranky.

I want to hit HMV after work and buy The Organ's album. I've got their song "Memorize the City" stuck in my head and the newspaper this morning called their debut an effort beyond their Joy Division, The Smiths, The Cure and Blondie influences (i'm paraphrasing). I tried to buy a book during my lunch hour but nothing appealed to me. I'm feeling angsty about passively taking in culture -- books, films, plays, LJ -- and giving nothing back. And maybe I don't even want to give anything back, because there's nothing left to give. Music is the only thing that soothes me.

I've been listening alot to the Pet Shop Boy's "You Are Always on My Mind" ever since that night at Feeling Gloomy. My neighbour must be pissed off because he's fighting back with ska and 70s style punk. Little does he know how happy he makes me.

I want to lie under a South American sun, cuddle my dogs, eat watermelons & eat pastéis, wear shorts & flip flops, fall asleep in front of brasilian soap operas and win the lottery. I want my holiday in Brasil to start tomorrow, and to have those three weeks feel like six months.

Comments

[redcountess]

Soon!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

How soon is now?

[vilia64.livejournal.com]

Just Do Your Best And Don't Worry. ;)

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna need someone on my side.

[vilia64.livejournal.com]

Hold On To Your Friends

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

There's a place in hell for me and my friends.

[vilia64.livejournal.com]

Now My Heart Is Full

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

We hate it when our friends become succesful.

[vilia64.livejournal.com]

What Difference Does It Make?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Angel, angel, down we go together.

[vilia64.livejournal.com]

Oscillate Wildly

[naturalbornkaos.livejournal.com]

Can't...

Still ill...

[vilia64.livejournal.com]

You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby

[greenteablack.livejournal.com]

LOL I remember having music wars with the girl who lived in the next room from me in University. She'd play Michael Jackson first thing Saturday morning and it would wake me up so I'd play Metallica even louder and she'd eventually turn her music down. hehe.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

In residence, I was surrounded by Phantom of the Opera soundtrack and Nine Inch Nails (with Gangsters Paradise not too far away.) It was a bloody battle field.

[greenteablack.livejournal.com]

LOL That sounds like torture, although I do like Nine Inch Nails I'm sure it was in the "closer" phase where everyone and their grandmother was playing that song.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I'm sure it was in the "closer" phase where everyone and their grandmother was playing that song.

Yes, and the guy who played it was one of those try hard types who think their angst is original and their black bedroom walls really powerful expressions of their deep personalities.

[greenteablack.livejournal.com]

LOL Oh I knew many guys like that. That's too funny

*runs and hides the fact that her bedroom is black* hehe

[izzybees]

I'm feeling angsty about passively taking in culture -- books, films, plays, LJ -- and giving nothing back. And maybe I don't even want to give anything back

This is exactly how I feel right now.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Do we know of any antidotes? :-)

[izzybees]

I am just staying quiet for the time being, but I don't think this feeling will last. I'm also working on a project with a friend that might make our internet experience a bit more interesting. I've learned how to deal with the highs and lows for the most part, and it helps that I live with someone who is good at keeping me sane. :)

[amanda-mary.livejournal.com]

I was going to leave a comment citing that exact quote!

For me, it's a matter of being very uncertain about my own abilities. Sometimes I think the only thing separating me from "artists" is my reluctance to assert myself.

Oh ... and the fact that I don't make any art. But it's all part of the same, vicious cycle.

[izzybees]

I have observed that throughout my life I have followed the same pattern. It begins with the feeling that I want to share my writing or "put myself out there" a bit more than usual, and ends as soon as I actually do that because I become terrified at the thought of someone actually noticing me. I understand the reason behind it and am constantly struggling with this dichotomy in my personality. I think if I ever became really famous I'd end up killing myself, so it's probably a good thing that my writing skills are mediocre at best. I'll end up living a quiet life out in the country, and that would suit me just fine.

[msanthropist.livejournal.com]

I would absolutely love to read something you've written...do you have any samples posted in your LJ somewhere?

[damiella.livejournal.com]

You know PSB are touring soon, right? Can you say,

YAY!!!!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Really? Wow! That would be a great concert to go to... now I only need to convince my boyfriend. :-)

[damiella.livejournal.com]

They are so good live. Don't make me come over there and physically drag you to their show!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I'm going to contact my old housemate. She'll definetly come with me.

[msanthropist.livejournal.com]

Hang in there Ollie...you make me laugh and laugh and laugh. I am mindful of the scene in "Willie Wonka" where Gene Wilder is happily munching away on a chocolate bar (I think?) while Augustus is stuck in the pipe...
"The suspense is terrible," Wonka breathlessly confides, "...I hope it will last!" (Stolen from Oscar Wilde)

These excrutiating moments of anticipation will only add to the intense enjoyment you experience once you actually find yourself on holiday "under a South American sun," cuddling your dogs, eating watermelons & pastéis, wearing shorts & flip flops, falling asleep in front of brasilian soap operas" and remembering for how long you consciously craved these very things. Ah, life, sweet life...

"Anticipation, alternately pleasurable and unnerving, is experienced as a potent emotional, and sometimes visceral, charge. A time-based phenomenon, anticipation involves self-awareness and a feeling of foreboding based on the expectation that something is about to happen. Waiting, unsure and expectant, we experience for some time prickly feelings and a state of heightened consciousness that cross-wires psychological and physical sensation." Museum of Contempory Photography

It's no wonder you're feeling cranky! It's the weekend - go party! Any plans?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

You are right! I definetly think my mood is being influenced by the impending trip (two weeks from today!)

I've got tons of little errands to do: post office, trousers in need of alteration, cd store, etc. It looks nice outside so I'm expecting to get everything done without too much hassle.

[naturalbornkaos.livejournal.com]

Dude, that "Memorise The City" song is SO goth.

You should check out All About Eve or Sunshine Blind if you like that kind of thing...

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I just bought the latest copy of Uncut magazine and saw a review of All About Eve. I'll try downloading them... I love that stuff! :-)

[scruffulous.livejournal.com]

i can't help but kind of like the organ... i think the singer sounds like pat benatar, i think. they all kind of remind me of "love is a battlefield."

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

They are definetly a grower.