Glasgow's Weekend Glossary

[dotinthesky]

Clatty Pat's - Also known as Cleopatra's, disreputable Glaswegian club to be avoided at all costs. Clatty (a glaswegian slang for dirty) is the sort of place where you can find men making love to their own reflection on the dancefloor's mirror, or covered in puke and begging for a kiss (so I hear).

Highland cattle - Mythical red cows with big horns, originally from Scotland's highlands but now found near urban areas (such as the Pollok House). Strangely reminiscent of club girls spotted at basement Darkhouse-fest Basura Blanca.

Hen - term used for any Glaswegian woman. Top Hen is the woman who organizes a hen party and who may, or may not, provide drugs afterwards.

Ned - Wee fellows that will clob you if you are wearing the wrong football T-shirt. Better not wear any blue or green when the Rangers and the Celts are playing against each other on a Bank Holiday Weekend.

Jakie - Fellows who enjoy their alcohol as well as screaming at each other on the street.

MDMA - powdery drug, the colour of brown sugar, which tastes like rat poison, to be taken in a nightclub's bathroom cubicle. A pinch is enough for smiles, but not enough to get the mojo going on the dancefloor. May cause lethargy the following day.

Blether - Chatty gossip you learn at 2 A.M., when joints are passed around and CSS is on the stereo: Paul McCartney married Heather because he liked getting her stump up his bum; Camilla Parker Bowles got drunk at her son's wedding and danced to Wham!; and David Hasselhoff said, on a phone interview to Star magazine, "you don't hassle the Hoff".

The West End - Area of Glasgow where students and the bohemian middle-class live. A ground floor apartment facing Glasgow's Botanical Gardens: the home of an academic (conveniently away for the weekend in Turkey) filled with books, paintings, mismatched furniture, dusty world music CDs, a black cat called Marley, subzero temperatures in the basement rooms, an overstuffed fridge and rarefied air that makes less than 10 hours sleep impossible.

McShite Airlines - easyJet, Ryanair and all the other craptastic airlines that have lost this customer. Better spend the extra £100 on a proper airline and deal with people trained not to be assholes.


Will Mellor, spotted yesterday wandering around Glasgow Airport, hoping someone would ask him for an autograph.

Volta - You are back home, lying in a warm bathtub, just one red candle flickering against the tiles; you have an airport CD for company; you are angry at low-cost flying, the weekend coming to an end, and your empty fridge; You are the Earth Intruders, you are the Earth Intruders...

Comments

[redcountess]

Why not get the train instead?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Too expensive this time around. Definitely a possibility in the future (even if I have to spend my entire holidays eating only toast.)

[yearning.livejournal.com]

if you book early you should be able to afford a proper dinner now and then. :) www.qjump.co.uk! with a young person's railcard I/my bf sometimes paid 25GBP return London-Glasgow. Which would be maybe 36 GBP without the card. (that's when you are really lucky, usually it shouldn't be more than 50 though and all in all you spend a lot of money even getting to and from those airports (stansted et al) and a lot of time! the train stations are usually central and you don't have to wait for silly amounts of time for security, getting your ticket etc!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Cheers! Those are good tips, which I'll keep in mind in case there's a next time.

[arual.livejournal.com]

Highland Cattle, also known up here as Heelan Coo's :o)

[desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com]

eeeheehee! I love that!

[dj-alexander.livejournal.com]

What does Rat Poison taste of?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

You don't want to know.

(surprised your comment isn't about Camilla.) ;-)

[dj-alexander.livejournal.com]

Ahh, I know all about royal drinking already.

Speaking of which...

[desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com]

Did you have a nice weekend? *grin*

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

It was lovely, apart from the slight bump yesterday. But I won't let easyJet drag me down. They can go fuck themselves.

[desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com]

That's right Brother, sing it! Amen!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

By the way, I'll answer your comments/emails soon. A bit busy at work! Hope you are good. :-)

[desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com]

No worries, you'll get to them when you do! Today's good, I just put a tray of granola in the oven. Yum!

[olamina.livejournal.com]

Sorry I missed you this visit, I missed my flight and then I couldn't find internet to contact anyone! I'll be back soon though!

[olamina.livejournal.com]

of course the flight was on McShite Easyjet!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Gah! That sucks. I hope you didn't have too horrible a time with them.

[olamina.livejournal.com]

Luckily my friend was able to help me. But it was amazing to see the women be so bitchy in Slovenian. I think they must pick people for their social awkwardness and brusqueness. I imagine Easyjet employees are total outcasts anywhere outside of their work environment.

[atomic-joe2.livejournal.com]

Will Mellor's a proper good lad and a good looking boy to boot!

2 reasons to hate him perhaps but he's great!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I agree; he's very cute. If I wasn't so pissed off at easyJet, I would have enjoyed his presence there a lot more. ;-)

[amberholic.livejournal.com]

Volta is awesome. Got it yesterday and have been listening to it since then. "Dull Flame of Desire" and "I See Who You Are" are my favourites so far, with "Earth Intruders" of course.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling my favourites will change as I hear the album more often. "Earth Intruders" is a definite yes.

[amberholic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this album is definitely a grower, as is often the case with Bjork in my experience.

[sublimevisions.livejournal.com]

earth intruders sounds her old music style had a baby with art of noise

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

If only more couples like that had babies.

[tonight-we-fly.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, all the fun I had when I went on holiday to Glasgow a few years ago is coming back to me in a flash! Did you travel on the Clockwork Orange at any point?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

No, what's a "Clockwork Orange"? Was the movie filmed in Glasgow?

[tonight-we-fly.livejournal.com]

I believe it's the local slang for the underground trains there. Either that, or they spotted me a mile off as a gullible English person...

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah! Those trains were something. They reminded me of amusement park rides.

[woodsrule.livejournal.com]

Or the worms in Dune...