Saudades dos Bolos da Vovó

[dotinthesky]

Grandma with her brother

Grandparents
by Dr Theophilus Pudding

A grandparent is a human that has produced one thousand offspring, (hence the origin of the word). On achieving this feat, the new grandparent shouts 'full house!', and is then officially designated with the title and given some comfortable shoes by Her Majesty the Queen.

Grandparents can be found in armchairs, at bus stops and in deckchairs in UK seaside resorts. Indeed, they are so common these days that they can easily be acquired; you may even have one yourself.
Your grandparent should be refuelled regularly with Werther's Originals and tea (some high-performance models also take sherry).
It can be useful to cover your grandparent with a tartan blanket. This will calm him or her down, and discourage attempts to escape.

Comments

[live-life-like.livejournal.com]

saudade dela...

foto beeem bonita!!!
^_^

[misspogeybait.livejournal.com]

I must be a high high performace model as gin is my tipple!!

Best thing in the whole world is been a nana, tartan blanket too!

[desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com]

Oh mah god, so funny! Is it Grandma's birthday or something?

Do you know? The funniest thing happened to me yesterday on the train. Three people were speaking to each other, definitely tourists, and I listened and listened and listened, trying to figure out what they were speaking. Spanish was out, but there was a tonality to it that, while I didn't think it was Portuguese, their dark skins indicated that that was likely it. I asked, "Permiso. Eran Brasileiros?" (b/c I hoped they'd understand if it was, indeed, Portuguese) and the one to my left got huffy and asked me to repeat myself, then said no. When I explained that I had been trying to figure out their language, he said, "No, we were speaking Swedish. Not Brazilians." I said, "Oh! Well, I didn't think so, but there's a musicality to Swedish that is similar to Portuguese...and you certainly look more Brazilian than Swedish!" and here I trailed off as he nodded as if that made him a little less spikey. Then he asked me if I'd been there. I said yes, and he thought I meant Stockholm, but one of the other guys knew I meant Brazil. Then that guy asked me where they could see Hassidic Jews in Brooklyn. I pointed out various areas they could go visit.

Strange! I just can't help myself from talking to people in the subway, sometimes.

[rag-and-bone.livejournal.com]

so adorable. i needed this. thank you for starting my day off with a giggle.

[sublimevisions.livejournal.com]

LMAO. thank you fur the awesome post

[frankeecymraeg.livejournal.com]

my grandmother is a bitch

[msanthropist.livejournal.com]

My grandmother totally freaked out when I tried the tartan blanket bit. She said, (and I quote), "Your taste must all be in your mouth!" Hmph!