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Grandma with her brother


Grandparents
by Dr Theophilus Pudding

A grandparent is a human that has produced one thousand offspring, (hence the origin of the word). On achieving this feat, the new grandparent shouts 'full house!', and is then officially designated with the title and given some comfortable shoes by Her Majesty the Queen.

Grandparents can be found in armchairs, at bus stops and in deckchairs in UK seaside resorts. Indeed, they are so common these days that they can easily be acquired; you may even have one yourself.
Your grandparent should be refuelled regularly with Werther's Originals and tea (some high-performance models also take sherry).
It can be useful to cover your grandparent with a tartan blanket. This will calm him or her down, and discourage attempts to escape.

on 2008-02-22 01:34 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] live-life-like.livejournal.com
saudade dela...

foto beeem bonita!!!
^_^

on 2008-02-22 07:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] commonpeople.livejournal.com
que bom que gostou. :-)

on 2008-02-22 01:37 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] misspogeybait.livejournal.com
I must be a high high performace model as gin is my tipple!!

Best thing in the whole world is been a nana, tartan blanket too!

on 2008-02-22 07:21 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] commonpeople.livejournal.com
You are an eco-friendly high performance type! No carbon monoxide coming out of you. ;-)

on 2008-02-22 02:07 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com
Oh mah god, so funny! Is it Grandma's birthday or something?

Do you know? The funniest thing happened to me yesterday on the train. Three people were speaking to each other, definitely tourists, and I listened and listened and listened, trying to figure out what they were speaking. Spanish was out, but there was a tonality to it that, while I didn't think it was Portuguese, their dark skins indicated that that was likely it. I asked, "Permiso. Eran Brasileiros?" (b/c I hoped they'd understand if it was, indeed, Portuguese) and the one to my left got huffy and asked me to repeat myself, then said no. When I explained that I had been trying to figure out their language, he said, "No, we were speaking Swedish. Not Brazilians." I said, "Oh! Well, I didn't think so, but there's a musicality to Swedish that is similar to Portuguese...and you certainly look more Brazilian than Swedish!" and here I trailed off as he nodded as if that made him a little less spikey. Then he asked me if I'd been there. I said yes, and he thought I meant Stockholm, but one of the other guys knew I meant Brazil. Then that guy asked me where they could see Hassidic Jews in Brooklyn. I pointed out various areas they could go visit.

Strange! I just can't help myself from talking to people in the subway, sometimes.

on 2008-02-22 07:25 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] commonpeople.livejournal.com
That does sound indeed strange! The guy should have been more polite to you, considering you were being friendly. Oh well; they were definitely not brasilian. :-)

And no, it's not grandma's birthday; I ran into this poem and thought it would go well with the pic (which had been languishing in my flickr account.)

By the way, I've had this idea of buying a Flickr account and getting visitors to my mom's guesthouse to submit photos for it. Then it could be linked to my mom's site, for anyone who hasn't visited before to see what it's like. What do you think?

on 2008-02-22 08:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com
Yah, I think that's a great idea for the Flickr account! I'll send you some of my photos.

on 2008-02-23 09:03 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] commonpeople.livejournal.com
That would be awesome.

on 2008-02-24 12:58 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com
I'll probably send them tomorrow night b/c I work today and will be in Red Hook all day tomorrow.

*yawn* Good morning! I go to work now!

on 2008-02-24 03:10 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] commonpeople.livejournal.com
Good morning! Have fun at work. :-)

on 2008-02-26 06:57 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com
It was fine, I had a Scottish lady! She was funny and very nice.

on 2008-02-22 02:29 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rag-and-bone.livejournal.com
so adorable. i needed this. thank you for starting my day off with a giggle.

on 2008-02-22 07:25 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] commonpeople.livejournal.com
Glad it made you giggle. ;-)

on 2008-02-22 03:38 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sublimevisions.livejournal.com
LMAO. thank you fur the awesome post

on 2008-02-22 07:25 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] commonpeople.livejournal.com
You're very welcome.

on 2008-02-22 05:44 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] frankeecymraeg.livejournal.com
my grandmother is a bitch

on 2008-02-22 07:26 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] commonpeople.livejournal.com
Mine's too. But she also makes kickass cakes, sweets and fried goodies; and she's only a bitch to the help. I bet she'd kick your grandma's ass in a fight.

on 2008-02-22 10:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] frankeecymraeg.livejournal.com
mines a bitch to me. though I'm fairly sure given the chance I could out bitch her and make her cry. Probably could ruin her worthless life in the process. To give you an idea how much I can't stand her....I cut off all contact with her, I don't even fake liking her to stay in the will. She knows full well my opinion of her. Actually she doesn't, she just knows I don't like her. Sometimes I want to call her and tell her she's a cunty little fuck face, but I've refrained, maybe I'll do it on her birthday one year before she kicks the bucket.

on 2008-02-23 09:04 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] commonpeople.livejournal.com
Is she from your mom or dad's side? Do you have any granduncles/aunts in Sicily?

on 2008-02-23 02:08 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] frankeecymraeg.livejournal.com
mum. no. had a cousin. but a couple years ago he fell off the ladder, was knocked unconscious and then the tar bucket spilled the hot tar on his face, which hardened, and he suffocated to death.

on 2008-02-23 02:17 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] msanthropist.livejournal.com
My grandmother totally freaked out when I tried the tartan blanket bit. She said, (and I quote), "Your taste must all be in your mouth!" Hmph!

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