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I'm loving the weather
Jun. 23rd, 2004 10:10 amIt's rainy and grey and chilly and not like Summer at all. I'm lovin' it (read that sentence as a McDonald's commercial.)
And I arrived at work to find out our internal server down. There is no work for me today. The secretary and I have dropped all pretenses and are currently navigating the internet without shame or worry. I found a great website with information on publications seeking fiction submissions without any charges. I'm lovin' it.
I go swimming a lot, as I've already told you a million times. Why don't you swim too? These are the characters I see every morning at the swimming pool:
- Josie. She's a Jamaican lady, probably in her 60s, who sits in the slow-swimmer's lane in a shower cap. She seems to know everybody, talks in a loud voice and wishes you a good morning.
- Old man swimmer. He wears zebra-styled speedos that are slightly too large for his body and flap about when he swims. He did something disgusting today: he took a really loud crap while I was changing, then proceeded to head straight to the pool without washing his hands. I was not impressed.
- Leather-face gay man. This guy always arrives slightly later than me. He dives into the pool and has little consideration for other swimmers (I always get the feeling he's racing me.) He's got that tanning salon glow and skin that has prematurely aged. I always find myself showering beside him but that's because of...
- Gym boy. This sculped piece of man meat ends his session in the weights room just as I'm about to shower. He has a petulant face, well-proportioned buns and a good-sized penis. I think Leather-face secretly fancies him. After he's showered, Gym boy wears a suit and white trainers. He must be straight.
- Old Irish man. I see this fellow sometimes in the shower room. He is morbidly obese and he sings a lot. He also likes to chat to other naked men about how the water is scalding him, or other nonsense. His body is fascinating to look at. His belly has bean-sized hematomas on the side.
- Hostile Australian Recepcionist. She has mousy brown hair, eyes too close together, and she always looks surprised when I wish her a good morning. I can't decide whether she's apathetic to everyone, or just me. Or maybe she just hates her job, unlike...
- Happy Blonde Recepcionist. She smiles, greets you as if you were an old friend, then goes back to the latest best-seller she reads when there's nobody around. She can sometimes be found talking to the...
- Desperate-Looking Life-guards. There are three of them. Mr. Italiano, with his shoulder-length curly hair, Mediterranean tan, skinny hairy legs and a fairly good disposition to all (which is slowly erroding.) Then there's pikey blonde boy, who probably wears soccer t-shirts in his spare time. And finally big beffy life-guard, who gets angry at kids who hold on to the lanes' dividers and likes to blow his whistle a lot and show authority.
There are other minor characters, like Slow-as-fuck-lady-who-shouldn't-be-in-the-fast-lane, or the various men who don't know how to swim but feel they should splash about to show how manly they are, or the many women who are nice and considerate - who swim elegantly and navigate through us like professional dolphins.
All in all, I love my local swimming pool.
And I arrived at work to find out our internal server down. There is no work for me today. The secretary and I have dropped all pretenses and are currently navigating the internet without shame or worry. I found a great website with information on publications seeking fiction submissions without any charges. I'm lovin' it.
I go swimming a lot, as I've already told you a million times. Why don't you swim too? These are the characters I see every morning at the swimming pool:
- Josie. She's a Jamaican lady, probably in her 60s, who sits in the slow-swimmer's lane in a shower cap. She seems to know everybody, talks in a loud voice and wishes you a good morning.
- Old man swimmer. He wears zebra-styled speedos that are slightly too large for his body and flap about when he swims. He did something disgusting today: he took a really loud crap while I was changing, then proceeded to head straight to the pool without washing his hands. I was not impressed.
- Leather-face gay man. This guy always arrives slightly later than me. He dives into the pool and has little consideration for other swimmers (I always get the feeling he's racing me.) He's got that tanning salon glow and skin that has prematurely aged. I always find myself showering beside him but that's because of...
- Gym boy. This sculped piece of man meat ends his session in the weights room just as I'm about to shower. He has a petulant face, well-proportioned buns and a good-sized penis. I think Leather-face secretly fancies him. After he's showered, Gym boy wears a suit and white trainers. He must be straight.
- Old Irish man. I see this fellow sometimes in the shower room. He is morbidly obese and he sings a lot. He also likes to chat to other naked men about how the water is scalding him, or other nonsense. His body is fascinating to look at. His belly has bean-sized hematomas on the side.
- Hostile Australian Recepcionist. She has mousy brown hair, eyes too close together, and she always looks surprised when I wish her a good morning. I can't decide whether she's apathetic to everyone, or just me. Or maybe she just hates her job, unlike...
- Happy Blonde Recepcionist. She smiles, greets you as if you were an old friend, then goes back to the latest best-seller she reads when there's nobody around. She can sometimes be found talking to the...
- Desperate-Looking Life-guards. There are three of them. Mr. Italiano, with his shoulder-length curly hair, Mediterranean tan, skinny hairy legs and a fairly good disposition to all (which is slowly erroding.) Then there's pikey blonde boy, who probably wears soccer t-shirts in his spare time. And finally big beffy life-guard, who gets angry at kids who hold on to the lanes' dividers and likes to blow his whistle a lot and show authority.
There are other minor characters, like Slow-as-fuck-lady-who-shouldn't-be-in-the-fast-lane, or the various men who don't know how to swim but feel they should splash about to show how manly they are, or the many women who are nice and considerate - who swim elegantly and navigate through us like professional dolphins.
All in all, I love my local swimming pool.