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Tulku, Here We Come
Oct. 18th, 2004 10:21 pmWhat is the simplest way to say that I am a Buddhist?
Please refrain from reading this with cynicism.
If you contaminated yourself, then passed on that disease to a loved on... well, I'm not going to blame you anymore. You are a victim too. And if you said something horrible, or I said something horrible, then I want you to know that I am sitting here now, alone, trying to find a way to dispel that negative energy and not let my emotions engage with what doesn't exist. If you found a cave and it was warm enough to live in, maybe you could invite me over some day.
Have you ever met a Buddhist guru? I wonder what they would say to me. All the fortune-tellers have taken my hands, or laid down the cards, and said wonderful things. But scary things too. I wish sometimes that someone would come along and shatter my ego. The Kirlian photograph I took many years ago showed my aura to be very white - the sign of a large ego.
Please destroy my ego. I think I can take it. Or I'll try to bounce it off, like a mirror in a fun house. Like one of the mirrors in the Hayward Gallery fuckingpieceof9poundswastedshitsundaysaturdaywasteddaycrapradio ok you get the point.
A woman was meditating in silence for days, in a retreat. She couldn't talk and slowly her other senses took over the space her mouth had left behind. She noticed the birds outside, their individual faces and the relationships they had with each other. I see this sometimes, but very briefly, and it never occured to me that it might be special. Nature, for some people, is a factory of battery chicken.
I might try to become a vegetarian again, like I was in Montreal. Cows are pretty. And chickens are cuddly.
Please refrain from reading this with cynicism.
If you contaminated yourself, then passed on that disease to a loved on... well, I'm not going to blame you anymore. You are a victim too. And if you said something horrible, or I said something horrible, then I want you to know that I am sitting here now, alone, trying to find a way to dispel that negative energy and not let my emotions engage with what doesn't exist. If you found a cave and it was warm enough to live in, maybe you could invite me over some day.
Have you ever met a Buddhist guru? I wonder what they would say to me. All the fortune-tellers have taken my hands, or laid down the cards, and said wonderful things. But scary things too. I wish sometimes that someone would come along and shatter my ego. The Kirlian photograph I took many years ago showed my aura to be very white - the sign of a large ego.
Please destroy my ego. I think I can take it. Or I'll try to bounce it off, like a mirror in a fun house. Like one of the mirrors in the Hayward Gallery fuckingpieceof9poundswastedshitsundaysaturdaywasteddaycrapradio ok you get the point.
A woman was meditating in silence for days, in a retreat. She couldn't talk and slowly her other senses took over the space her mouth had left behind. She noticed the birds outside, their individual faces and the relationships they had with each other. I see this sometimes, but very briefly, and it never occured to me that it might be special. Nature, for some people, is a factory of battery chicken.
I might try to become a vegetarian again, like I was in Montreal. Cows are pretty. And chickens are cuddly.
